Archive

Bone Apple Teeth | Sole Food: Fresh fish, beetroot salad and kumara mash.

Posted 9:40pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Caroline Moratti

It’s beetroot season baby and with great power comes great responsibility. These bad boys are practically gagging to be pickled, candied and served fresh. The delicateness of the fish nestles into the warm, creamy kumara mash, but the punchy, vibrant beetroot salad takes this dish to a whole Read more...

The Bachelor: The One-On-Ones

Posted 9:35pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Caroline Moratti

The coffee date is a staple of Dunedin socialisation: from the Radio 1 kids at Kiki Beware, to the stressed socialites at RDC, it’s a chance for everyone to find love. We sent Jack and his remaining lucky ladies on three separate dates to enjoy the intimate corners of Dispensary and the Staff Read more...

Vape Review | Fresh Pressed Salts - Fruit Finale

Posted 8:22pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Critic

I know I’ve previously talked about how much I hate ambiguous vape flavours, but Fruit Finale is truly something else. It sounds so ominous and mysterious. I’ve reached the end of my vaping journey and have to battle against the big dog himself. This then leaves the question of which Read more...

Booze Reviews | Villa Maria

Posted 8:19pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Dick Bourbonage

Craft brewers are doing more and more weird shit these days. Every day in Wellington some hipster finds some new crap to put in a beer that makes it taste terrible, so they can call it a 'sour' and convince other punishing hipsters to waste money on it. Apparently, some craft brewers Read more...

Bone Apple Teeth | Jazzed Up Ramen: Spicy, Crunchy Pork Noodles.

Posted 8:16pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

I have a confession to make. For weeks now, I have been searching for The Perfect Dish. Something spicy, salty, fresh and, above all, interesting. My God, the hunt has been long. After consuming campus sushi daily, I turned to this week's Bone Apple Teeth forlorn, having barely touched a stove Read more...

The Critic Bachelor: Group Dates

Posted 8:09pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

This week, group dates are on the agenda. Can Jack find love, even in a crowded room? On Monday afternoon, Sophie and Amelia met Jack for a romantic rendezvous through the Otago Museum. Critic had intended the group to take in the iconic sights of the Animal Attic (specifically the rat king) but Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Accidental Cougar

Posted 8:06pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Critic

I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years after he cheated on me and naturally, I was feeling pretty horny. I went into Suburbia because I had to take a shit and it had the shortest line. I figured while I was inside I may as well do some dancing. I found the tallest man in the room Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Bust a Fat Chuck

Posted 2:44pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Critic

So I had been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks and we had been really hitting it off and had already hooked up a few times. One Saturday night I was at a party and I invited him to come over, we spent the rest of the night together drinking and chatting. Eventually, I suggested going back Read more...

The Bachelor: First Date and Eliminations

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

It’s 5:30pm on a Wednesday and the first Bachelor group date is about to begin. Jack describes himself as “nervous, but excited”, laughing as he brushes his hand through his hair. He’s dressed in a form-fitting navy blazer and a crisp, oatmeal shirt. The girls’ profiles Read more...

Vape Review | PachaMama Salts Fuji

Posted 1:02pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Critic

There’s nothing worse than a vape flavour that is morally ambiguous. In the name of the juice, you gotta tell us what the flavour is. How else are we meant to know what’s going into our lungs? While the PachaMama salts says that it's made from “the most desirable fruits on Read more...

Booze Reviews | Carlsberg

Posted 12:45pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Dick Bourbonage

They say the Devil's greatest trick was to brew shit beer and put it in green bottles, then charge waaaaay too much for it. This trick has led to the rise of awful beers like Stella and Heineken. This simply cannot do, so I went searching for the impossible. I went looking for a good tasting Read more...

Bone Apple Teeth | Vegan Pumpkin Ravioli: Self-care meets pasta

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

With guest chef Pippa. There’s something about homemade pasta that reminds you of why life is worth living. In the words of the classic ‘90s movie You’ve Got Mail, “It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew Read more...

EDITORIAL: Sims 4 Eco Lifestyle has made me a Better Person

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 19th July 2020 by Sinead Gill

You are completely within your right to judge me for this, but I am not the SJW you might think I am. I have normie flaws. I don’t put cardboard in the compost bin when I compost. I forget my New World shopping bags every single time I go to the store. I’m really bad for throwing dirty Read more...

The Bachelorettes

Posted 1:11pm Sunday 19th July 2020 by Critic

Meet the girls vying for Jack Manning’s affections. Critic sent them to an OUSA meeting to check out the man in action, and get their first impression of the smouldering President.   Sophie I’m a third-year student majoring in Gender Studies and Minoring in Theatre. I am Read more...

Bone Apple Teeth | Lemon Muffins: Post-Flu Delights

Posted 8:22pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

With guest baker Islay  This week’s recipe was born out of the fact that our flat is overflowing with lemons. Overrun to the point of insanity. Everyone’s been fucking sick and we were trying to heal ourselves, the only way we know how, through obscene consumption of hot lemon Read more...

Vape Review | Duo Salts Kiwi and Strawberry

Posted 7:43pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Critic

What is with all fucking vape flavours and having either Kiwi or Strawberry? Like seriously, any sort of fruity vape flavour has one or the other, and I’m sick of it. Artificial Kiwifruit tastes like shit. I would rather rub the furry side of the skin on my tongue than have something kiwifruit Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Never Trust a Softboi

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Critic

It was the eve of Hyde Street in the Year of Our Lord 2019. I was pretty recently single, flexing my newly found hoe muscles, and getting ready to dress like a tennis bitch and hit the streets. You know the drill, heavy drinking, a casual nip slip, way too many moustaches, and I was on the lookout Read more...

Critic Booze Review | Odd Company Vodka

Posted 7:34pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by VirGINia Woolf-it-down

There is an epidemic that is flooding this great nation that I have been concerned about for some time now, and it is time that I addressed it. Ever since Part Time Rangers introduced the concept of a ‘simple’ RTD, there has been an influx of the stuff. Now every company and their dog Read more...

EDITORIAL: Reporting About Sexual Violence Sucks

Posted 1:01pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Sinead Gill

Content warning: sexual violence. I hate the way I have to write about sexual violence. It sucks because the legal process that comes with proving that sexual violence occured is difficult, so few survivors pursue legal action. For the fewer survivors that approach the media with their stories Read more...

Vape Review | Duo Salts Apple and Watermelon

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Critic

Look, in all honesty, I hate fruit. I’ve never tried most fruits, and I never want to. People ask me why, and it’s mainly because the texture of fruit genuinely scares me. The feeling of biting into a crunchy apple or soft banana and feeling it in my mouth makes me gag. Artificial fruit Read more...