Vape Review | PachaMama Salts Fuji

There’s nothing worse than a vape flavour that is morally ambiguous. In the name of the juice, you gotta tell us what the flavour is. How else are we meant to know what’s going into our lungs? While the PachaMama salts says that it's made from “the most desirable fruits on Earth”, what the fuck does that mean? Like just tell me so I’m not wasting time vaping a flavour that I’m not into. It feels like I’m being ghosted by a vape flavour that would rather go out and skate rather than talk about their feelings while listening to Beach House. On first smelling of this juice, it smelt fucking weird. Was it pineapple? Was it apple? I have no fucking clue.

This was 25mg nic salts, meaning that the nicotine content provided a nice head rush. My coil did have some remnants of previous vape juice in it, meaning that the flavour was a bit tainted. What a shame, having to vape more to get the actual flavour? Unheard of. Because of the lack of understanding on what the actual flavour is, I spent more time trying to figure it out rather than actually enjoying the flavour. The only things I could pick up on was that it tastes weirdly fruity, and leaves a kinda weird aftertaste. However, it wasn’t awful. It just tasted like a fruit cocktail. OUSA Welfare and Equity officer Michaela described it as grape nerds, while Critic Designer Molly talked about how it tasted like “a nice fruit surprise”. The overall theme was of a slight mandarin and apple flavour, with many comparing it to a Fruju. Critic Culture Editor Caroline made the great comparison that there is a water bottle brand of the same name, and I’m glad there’s not a whole lot of fluoride in it.

Overall, it’s not a bad juice. Like, I would happily recommend this, and would happily vape this again. But it’s just confusing. It doesn’t taste like anything, but also so much at the same time. I feel like I’m healthy smoking this, drinking a smoothie on the regular because I’m that fitspo bitch. But again, stop trying to be something you’re not. You’re a vape juice, not a fucking essential oil. Tell me what you are, give me my nicotine hit, and then let’s call it a day.

Tasting Notes: A decorative fruit bowl that isn’t actually real.

Makes You Feel: Confused, but not enough to be angry about it.

Pairs Well With: A need to feel healthy while destroying your lungs.

This article first appeared in Issue 12, 2020.
Posted 1:02pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Critic.