Archive

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 11:03am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Time to sit back, relax, and think about the Roman Empire.    Area to self-improve on: Being rational and deploying logic.    Pisces  Say goodbye to your people pleaser era, Pisces. You have been far too kind and tolerant of other Read more...

Chargrills: Flourless Pancakes

Posted 11:01am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Yeah, let's have breakfast for a change. Only thing you do need is a blender or a Nutribullet. If you don't, use the eggs to make scrambled eggs and eat the banana lol.    Ingrediants: 3 eggs 1 banana  ¼ cup cocoa powder  Dash of Read more...

Editorial: The Dictator

Posted 10:50am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

There is no student body.    It doesn’t exist. There is no cohesive group of students. Everyone has retreated so far into individualism, into digital and physical isolation, that an overall sense of community has been lost. This is why you are lonely. This is why you feel Read more...

Booze Review: Diesel & Cola

Posted 10:27am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Diesel Bourbon & Cola, unlike other foul concoctions, makes you acutely aware of your own existence. It is not an elixir that conjures rationale or peace, rather it attempts to humble the drinker by bringing you a stone's throw from death. A true battle of body, mind, and spirit. Any breatha Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Aquarius, this coming period of your life will bring about questioning, self-reflection, and a desire for change. Remember to not shy away from these feelings, as they will serve for the best in the long run.    Sexy activity for the week: Engaging in Read more...

Chargrills: Soft Shell Tacos

Posted 10:16pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

While we’re on the Mexican buzz, here's another mouth tingler to try out while avos are in season and the weather is warming up. Stay burrito-ful. This meal pairs nicely with Bohemian Wrap-sidy.    Ingredients    Soft shell tacos 700g chicken Read more...

Ōtepoti Music Compilation | Local Produce

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

As the end of the year draws close, it’s the perfect time to sum up Ōtepoti’s musical releases – and the Ōtepoti Music Compilation (ŌMC) is doing just that. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with organiser Alex Huber, about the upcoming project.   ŌMC Read more...

Moaningful: Security guards are ultimate cockblockers

Posted 10:13pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

It was a classic Thursday night. Boredom was taking over. This was back in the first-year days in halls when your love life was dictated by visiting hours. Forced to come up with some interesting solutions, I never had the balls to sneak people in. As the average beezy does when bored, I hit up a Read more...

Takeaways 24:

Posted 10:09pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Mike Tyson Mysteries   Ok hear me out; Scooby Doo but on Adult Swim, and starring Mike Tyson playing an animated version of himself. It is totally unhinged, brilliantly funny, and pretty dark at times. The characters also Read more...

Editorial: No Fucks Left

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

There’s only so much you can write about sex week before you run out of content. Like an editorial refractory period. After enough time at Critic you really start to scrape the bottom of the barrel for the salacious and the scintillating.   And I’m fresh out. Which is a good Read more...

Booze review: Nola’s Rich Ruby

Posted 9:59pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Are you a dignified son of a gun? One that skirts around the false perimeters that society places upon individuals? Constantly on guard for the street corners in which you protect? If that sounds like you, you’re likely a fortified wine drinker. We are a put-upon caste of people. Burdened with Read more...

Local Produce: DownsideUp

Posted 12:55pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

DownsideUp are Josh Botting (keys), Erik Dekker (drums), Hamish Phillips (guitar), Lalu Hartmann (bass) and Nathan Calver (vocals). Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to talk about what's on for them ‘til the end of the year.   DownsideUp formed in 2021 and have Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Selected Sexcapades

Posted 12:51pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Critic

Disclaimer: All names have been removed for confidentiality. However, these are all true stories and if you notice any resemblance to your own experience, you should probably reflect on that because you’re most likely not in this book for good reasons.   First everything I was Read more...

Chargrills: The Perfect Quesadilla

Posted 12:26pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Look sharp, idiots, this one’s for real. There’s a bit of admin involved for the initial operation but after that the leftovers process is easy as, and you only need to do one dish. Can be vegan without the cheese, and is vegetarian to begin Read more...

Editorial: The Beer Pong Survey Three Years in the Making

Posted 12:25pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

We’ve finally done it.    It’s taken literal years, but we finally have a somewhat-comprehensive survey of Dunedin’s beer pong rules. You’d think this would be relatively easy, but you would be oh-so-wrong. This counts as a sport, right?   Three Read more...

Booze Review: Kahlua

Posted 12:15pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

My caffeine addiction only became a problem once I discovered Kahlua.   There's something special about combining your vices, and the advent of Kahlua's coffee liqueur was a game changer. I'm multitasking stimulants and depressants like some kind of corporate wizard. If only Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 12:40pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, learn what a fucking boundary is. You’ve been overstepping and it’s getting a little weird.  Food to hyperfixate on: Beans on toast. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s time to adopt a new form of conflict management and Read more...

BOOZE: Panhead Supercharger APA

Posted 12:35pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Is Panhead craft beer? It looks like craft beer, it costs like craft beer, it gets you incredibly drunk like craft beer… but it tastes like the green bottle stuff your dad’s been drinking for the last 35 years. Supercharger is a gateway beer to the craft world, though your dad will only Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Campus watch fanfic

Posted 12:34pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Before you ask: no, this fantasy never happened nor have I abused Campus services just to see them. I respect their power way too much. But I can dream, and if it were to happen, I think it would go something like this.    It all began on the first Saturday of O-Week. Mind you, this Read more...

Editorial: Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori: Because who needs English, anyway?

Posted 12:17pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Ah, Māori Language Week, that time of the year when corporate giants dust off their faux-cultural sensitivity and engage in the shameless game of linguistic Monopoly. It’s almost heartwarming to see these mega-corporations roll the dice to determine which Māori word they’ll Read more...