Creamy Chicken, Bacon & Mushroom Pasta

Posted 4:44pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by The Scarfie Chef

This dish is an unreal winter warmer which is sure to satisfy the flatties. Pair with white Longridge goon or Kristov vodka. Grab a frying pan or stone pot, chuck it on med-high heat, and leave it to heat up. Slap some oil in there and then add diced, salted chicken. Be careful not to overload Read more...

Drinking Vodka Cruiser Ice Screams Small Dick Energy

Posted 4:43pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Vodka Cruiser Ice is the tipping point of mediocrity. Bringing a four-pack of these bad boys to a party screams small dick energy, but you know what? Really owning your small dick energy, is kind of big dick energy. Or rounds it up to 5 inches at least. It’s like the lemonade you buy from a Read more...

Love is Blind | Miri and Zach

Posted 4:42pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz     Miri After spending the afternoon scrolling through Read more...

The Week the ODT Seriously Fucked Up

Posted 10:26pm Sunday 12th August 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week the ODT are awfully sure of themselves.     Excuse me; ODT Watch will be the judge of that, if you don’t mind.    A gem from the Regions section.     “A-quack-tic” definitely made everyone at the ODT Read more...

Police Fail to Catch 4chan Shitposter

Posted 11:37pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

The extensive police investigation into the Otago University anonymous shooting threat made in 2015 has reached a dead end, according to a police report released to Stuff and later Critic under the Official information Act.  In October 2015 an anonymous person posted on 4chan, "If Read more...

Third Student Flat Wins Tenancy Payout Against Landlord Mike Harbott

Posted 11:35pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Landlord Mike Harbott, who owns several student flats in the North Dunedin area, has been ordered to pay $4,020 in exemplary damages to the residents of 9 Duke Street for failing to provide smoke alarms, lodge the bond, or provide and maintain the flat in a reasonable state of repair.  This Read more...

The People Behind Otago’s Favourite Facebook Pages

Posted 11:30pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Critic

In the glory days of the early 2000s, Facebook pages earned your likes by having hilarious names such as “I could tell you, but I’d rather show you through INTERPRETATIVE DANCE” and other such bizarro crap set loose upon the random XD quirky youths of the decade. Nowadays, no Read more...

Critic Takes Over AskOtago And Makes It Way More Useful

Posted 11:27pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Joel MacManus

At the start of the semester, the mysterious wall of mystery that mystified the masses on the ground floor of Central Library came down, and the TRUTH was revealed to all. Unfortunately, that TRUTH was really just the Uni coming up with an excuse to lay off a bunch of staff and build some yellow Read more...

Uncovering the Guys Behind New Zealand’s Craziest Conspiracy Website

Posted 11:19pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Joel MacManus

Trigger Warning: This article deals with anti-Semitic and transphobic conspiracy theorists. They are directly quoted, in their own words, using a number of offensive words and phrases.      January 19 2018 was a day that changed what normal meant in New Zealand’s Read more...

David with the Stars: Dance Superstar David Seymour strips his soul bare

Posted 11:08pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Editor’s Note: I just want to make it 100% clear that this is a real interview. All the quotes were actually spoken by David Seymour to Critic reporter Caroline Moratti, in a very awkward interview.  In 2018 a star was born. Dancing with the Stars was a life changing experience for Read more...