Fast & Furious 8 (2017)

Fast & Furious 8 (2017)

Visionary: F. Gray Gray

Rating: 1.5/5

Reviewer: Dick Swiveller

The eighth installment of the seemingly perpetual Fast and Furious franchise is now in cinemas across the world, smashing global box office records for an opening weekend, raking in an estimated $761 million. I don’t care how many people go to see it; Earth becomes an objectively worse place to live after each release of this fucking stupid film franchise.

Kudos must (reluctantly) be given to the film’s creators for making an appealing film for the masses. Having seen the film, I seriously struggled to find any appeal beyond mild enjoyment of nice cars and each time Vin Diesel almost gets killed off. 

I left the cinema angry at the fact that the plot was left open for yet another addition to the franchise, and after a quick Google found there are actually two more planned (being released 2019 and 2021), as well as spin offs involving both Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Vin Diesel’s characters. 

Oh and the cherry on the top of this appalling film is that Ludacris is in yet it again. If there’s any reason not mentioned above to put you off seeing F&F then his inclusion in the cast should do just that.

F&F 8 pairs well with: misogyny and low intelligence.

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2017.
Posted 1:24pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Critic.