Lucky in Love | Beverley & Stuttering Bill

Lucky in Love | Beverley & Stuttering Bill


The night began encouragingly with my friends telling me that my hair in the wind made me look like Pennywise from It. On that note, they dropped me off at the Bog. I walked in and started chatting to the bar staff, discovering they have seen many an interesting night go down. Hoping my evening would not be like other horror stories, my date (let's call him Tom) for the night turned up a few minutes later, he was tall, blond and seemingly tipsy.

Starting with red and white wine, we were ushered to a table in front of the fire and I noticed he had a massive bruise under one eye. We started chatting and he proceeded to tell me he grew up overseas and is now studying Architecture in Sydney. He was here in NZ for a week to see friends, party and perhaps burn a couch or two, he joked - the bruise, he explained, resulted from getting into a joke fight that hadn't ended so well. Food was served, a delicious roast veggie salad for me and steak and chips for him. After all the basic get-to-know-you kinda questions about study etc the conversation took an interesting turn, with Tom informing me of his latest fascination with nipples and learning about all the different types of breast implant surgeries?? Who knew one method uses salt water and another surgery goes through the belly button?! Following this we discovered a shared love of books… with him springing on me that HE DOESN'T LIKE HARRY POTTER!!! A state of utter disbelief ensued.

Tom seemed to be pretty open minded and knowledgeable about random things, talking about wine tastings, baby elephants at safaris, veganism and travel. As the night went on my memory starts to get a little hazy... Somewhere in between getting two more rounds of drinks, the open mic night began blaring, making it tricky to hear. The guy working in the restaurant upstairs kindly let us sit somewhere quieter to continue chatting. We kept talking for quite a few hours, running through the bar tab and purchasing a few more rounds- cheers for shouting me that whiskey drink!

Going from having no expectations to spending the evening enjoying great food, alcohol and interesting conversation, I was pleasantly surprised. Thanks Tom and the Critic for a fun night out and good luck with everything in Sydney!


Stuttering Bill

I'm a fresh soul in Dunedin, an Aussie come to visit the land of mud, mold and burnt couches under the guidance of my good mate who lives here.

The prospect of meeting the love of my life (or a sexually charged scarfie) seemed too good to pass up. Whilst walking to the bog I realised that my once fully bleached hair was now in backstreet boyish frosted tips and my body and face were so cut up and bruised from a Sunday spent partying in dresses that I looked like Paul Walker (after the crash). So hopefully my date had eyes like Stevie Wonder or gets really turned on by trainwrecks.

When I got to the Bog I scanned the room and immediately knew who my date was. She introduced herself and nervously shook my hand in a formal manner. We sat down and started talking about the general shit you talk about when you go on a date. I quickly found out she was a strict wine drinker and unlike myself did not feast on the flesh of the dead (she was a vegan). She didn't mind the blood dripping out of my steak and seemed to quite like my chat about unsavory topics so we kept drinking and laughing till close. She was a lovely girl and I hope she finds a scarfie savior but I knew she wasn't the girl for me. We parted ways as the Bog shut with a kiss on the cheek.

I then went on home to swipe my way into another date that evening – this one, however, skipped the pleasantries and went straight to the horizontal dance of Spring. Cheers to Critic, the bog, my Kiwi lads and my lovely date for a killer night. I hope to be back here soon!

This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2017.
Posted 12:57pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Lovebirds.