Archive

The Night’s Watch

Posted 8:23pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by Erin Gourley

“We’re not expecting a big night,” Pete from Campus Watch tells me, making a bold prediction that turns out to be way off the mark. We’re standing on the corner of Albany Street and Forth Street, watching a procession of drunken students in Highlanders jumpsuits leaving the Read more...

Which Hall Has the Loosest Drinking Rules: A Critic Investigation

Posted 9:53pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Charlie O’Mannin

Residential colleges: the places where you made your first adult friend, both got and gave your first disappointing oral sex, and then stopped talking to said adult friend, leading to many many awkward hallway interactions.   They’re also the places where most students have their first Read more...

Nags to Riches: How I Tried (and Failed) to Game the Omakau Horse Races

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Winnie Red

One sunny Dunedin day, I was enjoying my freedom with some leisurely drunk reading of Carl Sagan’s “Billions & Billions”, when I came across a story about the invention of the chessboard: Once upon a time, the Counsellor to a King gave the King a new game: chess. In a fit of Read more...

How to Get Through University Doing as Little Work as Possible

Posted 8:22pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Let’s face it, everyone’s dream paper is one where you can spend all your time in some state of intoxication and still pass with ease.  Since not everyone has an older sibling who can give them some realistic course advice, Critic thought we would do a bit of the legwork and Read more...

Adam Sandler is the Karl Marx of our Generation: A Critical Analysis

Posted 11:01pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

18 films. Two psychoanalyses. One terrible comedy album. We have now reached the end of our time here at Mr. Sandler, Bring Me a Dream. What a journey we have been on together. To be honest, there was a period in which I didn’t even know if I would be writing this. But here we Read more...

Harleneing With The Stars

Posted 10:55pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

With a nervous gait, Harlene approaches my table of destiny (we couldn’t actually get her to do it, so we just got Chelle to pretend to be her). Trembling, she sits down. Harlene is seeking divine answers. I tell her I am most willing to oblige (for international fees). Harlene reluctantly Read more...

Turning Back the Pages of Time: Critic Through the Ages

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Callum Doyle

Well, it’s come to this. We ran out of drugs to do, weird artists to interview and ways to make fun of commerce students. So, what do you do when you run out of ideas? When sitcoms ran out of ideas they’d string together clips from older episodes (or just put Joey and Rachel together, Read more...

The Eternal Flame of Couch Burning

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Caroline Moratti

When I envision how couch burning started in this glorious city we call home, a couple of scenarios go through my mind. Maybe our young hero who, sick of having flat arguments about heat pump usage, had a fit of rage and decided to burn the living room furniture as if to say “Fuck you ya cheap Read more...

The Top Things of 2018

Posted 6:56pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Joel MacManus

Here at Critic, we consider it our job to tell you what to think so that you don’t have to. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves while we eat fish n chips and get on the piss and then justify it as journalism by writing about it afterwards. Anyway, here’s a list of the best Read more...

The History of the Critic/ODT Journalism Turf War

Posted 11:43pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

New Zealand is a small country. We’d fit in the pocket of a real country and be indistinguishable from lint. Our small population moulds our news outlets into unusual beasts. One of the most unusual is the Otago Daily Times, the hyper-local community newspaper that in the midst of the digital Read more...