Archive

Is Hayward Haunted? An Investigation Based Purely on Rumour and Speculation

Posted 10:31pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

It’s always been a difficult task to pin down a ghost. Developments in science and technology have led many people to believe that ghosts aren’t real. Despite this, rumours of spooky happenings still manage to spread throughout our society, and colleges are hotbeds of rumour. In a Read more...

The Most Pointless Phrasebook You’ll Ever Read

Posted 11:36pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Erin Gourley

None of these phrases will help you find a train station. But at least you’ll learn some Arabic slang, a few Cherokee phrases, and a selection of Japanese inspirational quotes.   German Er ist dumm wie Bohnenstroh. Pronunciation: Ur ist dumm vee Bor-nen-straw. He is as dumb Read more...

The Inside Job - The Conclusion

Posted 11:12pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Owen Clarke

“SLADE!” you bellow. “You said you’d been taking a hot shower for ages, but there was no fog on the mirror when I came inside. I remember, I threw myself finger guns in it!” Slade’s grimaces. “You shithead. You just had to get all snoopy, didn’t Read more...

The Inside Job

Posted 11:11pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Owen Clarke

The following tale details the events of a casual Sunday afternoon. You, the reader, have just returned from a relaxing cricket game with a delicious pizza when suddenly…. it goes missing. You must carefully utilize the clues given to deduce the suspect. Happy Read more...

The Critic Guide to Relaxing Around Campus

Posted 11:07pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

The life of a student is a life of stress. Countless classes, assignments and exams will all get the better of us sooner or later. Things are hard sometimes. That’s why you deserve to take a minute to sit with your friends and kick back. There are lots of places around Uni that can help you Read more...

The Best Vape Spots Around Campus

Posted 10:32pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

If you’re a poor student like me who craves the sweet satisfaction of nicotine, then boy do I have something for you. Vaping, the cheaper alternative to smoking. For a while, I was anti-vaping. The big clouds and unusual flavours were a turn-off for me. But once the price of darts went up and Read more...

The Birds in the Gardens’ Aviary Rated on Their Resemblance to Mariah Carey

Posted 10:14pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Phillip Plant

Have you ever wanted to be an ornithologist, are you a keen bird watcher, or do you just want to catch the avian flu? Then the aviary at the botanical gardens is the place for you (disclaimer: there’s probably no avian flu at the botans, that was just a joke). “But I've never been Read more...

Can You Buy Drugs From Houses With Shoes on the Powerline? A Critic Investigation

Posted 7:27pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by Sinead Gill

North Dunedin is full of students again, and the stocks of almost-legal substances are getting low. This Critic reporter went on the hunt for drugs using one of the oldest methods in the book. The powerline method. For those unfamiliar with this method, it stems from the urban legend that when Read more...

Law Camp: A History

Posted 7:25pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by James Joblin

Law Camp. Last year, this post-admission honeymoon retreat for two hundred thrusting second year law students was exposed to be a weekend not of whispering “I do law…” into one another’s ears, but rather a weekend of nudity, aggressive drinking, and grand-slam jelly Read more...

Scooby Dooooo.....n't Make Me Watch Any More Of These

Posted 6:59pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by Owen Clarke

I watched all 41 episodes of Scooby Doo, Where Are You? in four days. Last night, I dressed up in a white sheet with two holes for eyes and skulked around my flat roof going “Oooooo”. This morning, I was diagnosed villainously insane by a local psychiatrist. I have no memory of these Read more...