The Conclusion to the Bed Sheet Wanker

The Conclusion to the Bed Sheet Wanker

Read the mystery here


“Ass, you sneaky bugger,” you say, pointing. “You said you were stargazing, but there aren’t even any stars out tonight! It’s too cloudy!”

“Fuck,” says Ass. He shrugs and kicks at the floor. “To be fair though, sir/madam, it wasn’t actually me. You think I can make that much jizz?”

“So who was it?” You’re about three seconds away from impaling this punk on a spit.

Ass giggles, stifling a smirk. “It wasn’t me. It was Apollo.”

“Apollo? The horse? You brought my horse in here and wanked him off on my fucking bed?”

Ass holds up his hands. “Chill bro, it was just a prank! Chill. Stop getting so fuckin’ aggro.” He pulls out his vape and takes a drag. “Can I like, clock out now?” he whines. “I’ve gotta squad up with the boys for some Fortnite.”

This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2019.
Posted 9:09pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by Owen Clarke.