Archive

Opinion: Just Call Me a Slur

Posted 7:04pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Content warning: This article discusses queerphobia, including slur calling, microaggressions, and misgendering. If you’re not in a headspace to read this, that’s fine! Read some of the other great articles this week, we understand :) Just about every queer person will have this Read more...

What Queer Stereotype Are You?

Posted 6:32pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Gryffin Blockley

Grab your carabiners and flex those limp wrists! In honour of the Queer Issue, Critic Te Ārohi can look through its crystal ball and determine which mish-mash of gay stereotypes you are.  For each question you’ll get a stereotype. Put it together at the end to get your unique Read more...

The Rise and Revitalization of Gay Pop, and why it matters so much

Posted 6:21pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Chappell Roan, lesbian icon and pop’s newest darling, said in a recent The Jimmy Fallon show appearance that the inspiration behind her debut album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (coincidentally the inspiration of our cover) was that “I just wanted to make something I could Read more...

Opinion: In Defence of BookTok

Posted 5:45pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Ellie Bennett

As an English major, I am entirely qualified to be the type of person who shits on other people for what they choose to read; to be the type of person who sees BookTok as encouraging ‘the wrong kind of reading’. But I don’t. My decision to major in English stemmed from a love of Read more...

i wrote a diss poem about drunk freshers

Posted 5:24pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Matilda Rumball-Smith

to the fresher in subs,  i’ve forgotten your name.  there’s a certain predictability to thursday night bottom shelf wine sprays the room pink crushed cans bloom metallica  fresher frenzy emerges clockwork with each drink the savagery of subs makes horrible Read more...

Critic Te Ārohi’s Guide to Arts and Crafts

Posted 5:09pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Are you sick of your weekends and evenings being filled with despair and boredom? A new hobby or fun flat activity is a good way to build connections with others and yourself. Take this quiz and find out which Critic-approved activities you and your friends should get amongst. Turns out getting your Read more...

Ōtepoti Self-Guided Art Tour

Posted 12:41pm Monday 12th August 2024 by Critic

1. 30 Octagon  Hours: 10am – 5pm Daily   One of New Zealand’s four major metropolitan art galleries, DPAG was NZ’s first gallery opened in 1884. They house a massive collection of Kiwi artworks, and have many current exhibitions on display.   2. Read more...

Flipped Off: Fighting Internet Addiction with a Nokia Phone

Posted 11:23pm Saturday 10th August 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Screen addiction. Information overload. Brain rot. Terms that, if you’ve spent any time online, you’re probably familiar with. And, if you’re like me, terms that are probably pretty applicable. It’s not unusual for me to spend upwards of ten hours on my phone per day. Read more...

An Ode to the Frontal Lobe

Posted 11:14pm Saturday 10th August 2024 by Jodie Evans

Twenty-five. A quarter of a century. That age when all your mates stop binge drinking every weekend, and take up running half marathons and crocheting instead. When you begin to feel out of place in the Pint Night line, but are officially safe from Leonardo DiCaprio. And now, according to TikTok, Read more...

Ōtepoti Venue Guide

Posted 3:49pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Many a night, students turn to the tried and true options of a good time. You either end up at Subs (again) or stay at home watching 123Movies because you don’t have Disney+ (again). Sure, these are the staples of a Saturday night for a reason, but going to live music gigs can be just as fun, Read more...

If You Love Them, Make Them a Playlist

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Ellie Bennett

In first-year, music defined just about everything I experienced – the joy, the heartbreak, the crippling hangovers that had me confined to bed all day chugging electrolytes. Two years later, not much has changed (though I’ve learnt to handle my alcohol better). There’s a song Read more...

Does Ōtepoti Have Pride in its Gender Queer Musicians?

Posted 2:28pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Jordan Irvine

The Dunedin music scene has been vibrant since the early 1980s. Vibrant, but not diverse. Until the past couple of years, most bands and solo artists have been cis men playing post punk and surf rock. This has led to a lot of gigs in Dunedin full of cis men, either on the bill or in the crowd. So Read more...

The Official Critic Te Ārohi Sex Playlist

Posted 2:21pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Critic

CRITIC’S BEST SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO: Confidence – Ocean Alley Careless Whisper – George Michael Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen Just The Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) – Grover Washington, Jr.  Fly Me To the Moon – Frank Sinatra Kiss Me – Read more...

Quiz: What’s Your Fashion Aesthetic?

Posted 8:53pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1. Sitting in a lecture, your mind begins to wander. What are you thinking about? When your next Afterpay payment is due   Planning your New Year’s trip If Madeleine McCann’s family did it Whether your degree will get you a job or you’ll be an overqualified Read more...

Camp on Campus

Posted 7:29pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Jonathan McCabe

The Link is the students' red carpet. For many, the best part of the day is the ten minutes between lectures as you spy students strutting from class to class. We see you. The Critic paparazzi were at large last week, sent on recon to fill us in with the latest and the greatest trends on campus. Read more...

Club Couture: All Docs, No Crocs

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Upon hearing that Critic staff member Sam Soppett was denied from clubs for wearing jandals and had to spend the rest of his night drinking at The Craic (could be worse), I wanted to push the boundaries of Dunedin town’s unspoken dress code. What are the limits, and why? But more importantly: Read more...

10 Ways to Keep Warm this Winter

Posted 4:38pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The Winter Breatha’s version of a dick-measuring contest is trading war stories of how much the cold weather has fucked us over. But like your dad likes to remind you when showing any discomfort (AKA sign of weakness), “Don’t give me problems, give me answers.” Your mates are Read more...

OUSSC’s Winter Survival Guide

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Otago University Snow Sports Club

Winter is objectively shit in Dunedin. Flats are cold and damp, and icy roads and footpaths do their best to take you out on your walk to the library. Finding your olive oil frozen solid in the flat pantry or the $100 power bill from your flatmate's heaters hardly sparks joy. In a season with Read more...

Pride and Pōhara: Māori cuisine or glorified struggle meals?

Posted 4:23pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

Let’s cut the crap. Aotearoa New Zealand loves to brag about ‘authentic’ Māori cuisine like hāngī, boil-up, fried bread, and steamed pudding. But the uncomfortable truth is: these aren’t traditional, authentic Māori dishes. They’re struggle meals Read more...

The 23rd Annual Critic Fish & Chip Review

Posted 6:11pm Saturday 13th July 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Winter has come, and the fish and chip gods demand justice! If fish and chips are a summer food, then why do they have all the key components of a hearty winter feed? Potatoes, grease, convenience, shame. Perfect for cold days, or cold journalists in dire need of their yearly sacrifice – this Read more...

TV GUIDE: Developmental Years Edition

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Back when Netflix was just a mail-order DVD service, TV of the 2000s was less about consumer choice, and more about what mass media could be rubbed against your developing retinas.  Picture this. It’s 2007, you’re home sick from school and desperate for entertainment. Windows Read more...

Legitness Jean Fitness

Posted 8:14pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Jodie Evans

It’s academic weapon season, a time of the year when productivity is key. Everyone’s life is scheduled to the minute in a meticulously planned spreadsheet to the point where a slight deviation is mania-inducing. Like a Te Araroa walker drilling holes in their toothbrush to lighten the Read more...

Campus Blind Items

Posted 7:48pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Critic

Disclaimer: These blind items have not been verified, and all tea is rumored/alleged ☕ #1 When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, this flighty professor decided he wasn’t so keen on shacking up with his younger postgraduate girlfriend. With only hours before the lockdown rules were enforced, Read more...

Te Rōpū Māori: Te Rito 2024

Posted 11:12pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Te Rōpū Māori

IZZY  - KAIHĀPAI Kia ora koutou, ko Izzy Rewiri-Wharerau tōku ingoa, he uri ahau nō Ngāpuhi me Ngāti Awa. My role within Te Rito 2024 is Kaihāpai, which is the financial liaison of our rōpu. I was raised in Tūrangi, a small town in the central North Read more...

Split-Screen Slideshows

Posted 11:05pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

As a reformed TikTok addict (getting in as much as 12 hours a day), I know how difficult it can be to concentrate on lectures after years of having our attention spans fried. Sometimes putting lectures on 2x speed just doesn’t cut it, and our malnourished Zoomer attention spans yearn for even Read more...

The Critic Te Ārohi Guide to Second Hand Stores

Posted 10:43pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Phoebe Lea

Whether you're a fellow thrifter fresh to Dunedin or a third-year who never leaves North D, this is the guide for you. Critic sent our bona-fide fashionista Phoebe to scour the streets, sift through the racks, and explore every nook and cranny to bring you the inside scoop on the best op shops Read more...

Faux-mosexual: Types of guys who trigger your gaydar on a night out

Posted 10:13pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Jonathan McCabe

It’s slim pickings for a queer man in 2024. The line between straight and queer is increasingly blurred in a sea of tote bags, good fashion, and “bro time” – it’s hard to discern between a potential connection, and a guy who’s merely Metrosexual (but the Read more...

Critic Vs. Writer’s Block

Posted 4:00pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Critic

It’s that time of year again: the born-and-bred Southlanders are starting to put on layers, all plans are “soft plans”, and everyone’s trying to get their shit together so badly that they’re ending up constipated. Exams are on the horizon, assignments are piling up and Read more...

Technically Legal: Weird Laws You May Not Have Heard Of

Posted 3:47pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Adam Stitely

Otago students generally have a pretty laxed view on obeying Big Brother. After spending a few years living in North Dunedin, following the intricacies of the less serious side of the law starts to seem like more of a recommendation than an enforced hard line. Some laws, however, are downright Read more...

Opinion: Why We Need the “Sheatha”

Posted 3:42pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Sam Garry

With the approach of the 130th Capping Show ‘Beezie’, it got the team at Critic Te Ārohi thinking. Every time we reference the stereotypical Otago student, we reach for the term “breatha”. And for good reason: they’re an easy mark with a well-established culture, Read more...

Wandering Womb: The Root of All Your Feminine Rage

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Jodie Evans

Wandering Womb noun a) Spontaneous migration of the uterus within the female body, anywhere from the pelvis to the mind.    Characterised by symptoms including but not limited to: Headaches, tremors, fainting, chest pains, abdomen pain, vertigo, sexual desires, intellectual Read more...

Campus Vigilante

Posted 8:07pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Hunter Jolly

Otago’s campus is rife with debauchery, crawling with scallywags wreaking havoc in the prime time of their youth. Campus Watch, the noble defenders of order on our beloved Uni grounds and student-populated streets, have their work cut out for them. No student would deny their appreciation for Read more...

Opinion: You Suck at Instant Noodles

Posted 6:49pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

There are but three things in this miserable world that are able to give me any semblance of something akin to joy: soup, frugality, and the quiet bliss of an instruction manual. Basically, the way everyone makes their instant noodles in this goddamn city is ensuring I will be first in line at Read more...

Yours

Posted 10:30pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Lily Stoddart

To whom it may concern, I think I am the perfect candidate for this part-time job because I am reliable, I will always show up on time, and if my car breaks down I will walk. And if my legs break off I will elbow crawl concrete grazes, beer glass abrasions, and all. And if the ground becomes Read more...

Littlest Hall Pets: The Pets of Campus

Posted 9:09pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: I know these are not all of the animals around! These are the ones we managed to get permission to include, and had time to visit. If there are more I missed, feel free to tell me where to find them, monty@critic.co.nz. Missing your dog back home? Mid-terms getting you down? Need Read more...

As Good as Mould

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jodie Evans

From flocks of seagulls to herds of freshers, beautiful North Dunedin boasts a variety of unique flora and fauna – the most abundant and furtive of which can be found in your very own flat. You guessed it: mould. Your white-toothed suit-wearing landlord only wants you to live amidst the most Read more...

Scenic Sadness: A Critic Te Ārohi Quest

Posted 4:52pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Gryffin Blockley

As temperatures plummet, the primal North D urge to “get the fuck away from it all” stirs. Nothing awakens the adventurous spirit quite like a mouldy flat or a situationship ending. Two dudes armed with a Mazda (that they weren’t insured to drive) embarked on an expedition to find Read more...

Botan Bongs

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

To many, the Botanical Gardens are a short-cut to New World Gardens or a nice place to picnic. To members of the species Stoneri botanis (The Botan Stoner), however, the Gardens are their natural habitat. The Botan Stoner is an abundant species native to the ecosystem of Ōtepoti. This species Read more...

Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...

Drug Trip Simulator

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nicky Patterson

1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...

Steamed the New Stoned?

Posted 12:57pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin has a pretty notorious drug culture. One drop of our wastewater could show the entirety of Gloriavale a damn good time. And yet, one would be pressed to find a hardcore, “substances are a personality trait” type druggie in even your most bruising Castle St flat these days – Read more...

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

Leith Them Alone: The Families of Leith Street

Posted 10:01pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Leith Street – a key part of the North Dunedin epicentre of Otago’s student life – has long been the home of scarfie flats and student parties. But despite its reputation, Leith is more than just students living out their second-year dreams in New Zealand’s most notorious Read more...

Dancing in the Rain: Baseline Reviewed

Posted 9:54pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

It’s important to Critic Te Ārohi that our reviews are authentic. To review hall food, we needed to assume the identities of freshers. And to review Baseline, we also had to assume the appropriate state of a festival-goer: dressed a lil’ slutty and with enough vodka Red Bulls in our Read more...

The Lecture Swap

Posted 8:52pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Adam Stitely, Gryffin Powell, Christopher Elder & Monty O’Rielly

Critic Te Ārohi sent two pairs of what we considered to be polar-opposite majors to go to each others’ lectures: History major Adam and Biochemistry & Genetics major Gryffin; Marketing major Christopher and Gender Studies major Monty. It’s like swinging, but with a bit more Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Animated Affairs

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

Let’s talk about the legendary sexual awakening. There are the classics you always hear of: Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ music video or Joe Jonas emerging, glistening, from the water in Camp Rock. A good number of people recall the moment Miss Honey from Matilda pulls down Read more...

Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames

Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...