Archive

Sage Advice | Romance

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 20th August 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” – Carolyn Gold Heilbrun   This question comes from another loyal reader: “My love life is in dire straits right now, but I really want to make it work! Sage Advice please Read more...

Science Tank | Snake Bite

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 20th August 2017 by Wee Doubt

A single drop of Russell’s viper venom will turn blood in a cup into a coagulated blob that looks like moulded jelly. However, in a living body, the venom has a different effect. The venom reacts with a protein in your blood called Factor X, creating proteins called fibrin, which cause the Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Pipes

Posted 12:17pm Sunday 20th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Various/5   This week we’re talking about pipes. Pipes are very old. In the Beginning, when pipes wriggled out of the ground like snakes (Snakes, 5/5), pipes were only cool enough to hang out with legless lizards (Legless Lizards, 0/5). How things have changed; the genealogy of Read more...

David Clark | Dunedin Hospital Update

Posted 11:00am Sunday 20th August 2017 by David Clark

The health system across Otago/Southland is struggling more than most – in fact, it’s creaking at its seams. There are likely to be many contributing causes to this current predicament, including the short-funding of health, and a funding model that seems to work against the South. But Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 20

Posted 10:54am Sunday 20th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Make way! The messiah is among us. Make way! For He shall lead us through the fire.   Then, a cutting piece of investigative journalism. Turns out melons cost more in winter. Who knew.   This week the ODT has some truly mindbending wisdom to Read more...

Editorial | Otago Students Need a Mouthpiece to Speak on Their Behalf More than Ever

Posted 10:10am Sunday 20th August 2017 by Joe Higham

Critic has recently received several ‘Letters to the Editor’ criticising the OUSA Executive, particularly President Hugh Baird, for not taking a stance on some of the year’s most pressing issues. The ten members of the Exec have been inundated with a disproportionately large amount Read more...

Sage Advice | Art

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.” - Pablo Picasso   Art is... mysterious. Is it the physical embodiment of the human soul? Is it the pale reflection of a world we can never reach? Will the subtle genius of my Care Bears-themed erotic Read more...

Science Tank | Cold Readers: The First Circle of Hell

Posted 1:00pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Anon

It was 2010 and my father had passed away earlier that year. My usual logic blinded by grief, I did what any standard mourner would do and booked an appointment to see a medium. Walking into her home-cum-spiritual lair, I immediately noticed the tacky abundance of quartz crystals (when will people Read more...

Smirnoff Ice Double Black Is the Perfect Drink for a Kids Birthday Party

Posted 12:56pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Smirnoff Ice Double Black is a drink for children, and adults who are still children at heart. It may technically be alcoholic, but as far as your taste buds would know, it’s just a kind of weird lemonade. ‘Scientists’ will tell you that the amount of guarana in these bad boys Read more...

Poetry Corner | (No Title)

Posted 12:52pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Darude

Rotate Jolting with the pivot  as a roiling boil bubbles your  bloodstream too little, a tepid time bomb or else, volcanically explosive coating your cell with the splatter of mincemeat all will be resolved at the next flat meeting “Do we need a Read more...

The Hell Hole | Things that disgust me

Posted 12:42pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Cats with hands, kelp with hands, mould with eyes. Unanswered emails. Your toenail on your sheets. Falling into a wood chipper. A greasy coffee cup. Peeling your veins with a potato peeler. Balloons filled with mustard gas. Mugs with chipped rims. Teeth made out of porcelain. Anything smaller than a Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | An Unwanted Breath of Fresh Air

Posted 12:36pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethel and Hyde Our property manager is showing people through our flat for next year, and, to make it easier for us all, is only doing this once a week on a Monday afternoon. This Monday, we came home to find that the backdoor was wide open. We know we left it locked and shut. The only Read more...

Lucky in Love | Peas & Carrots

Posted 12:30pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Bog Irish Bar, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email: critic@critic.co.nz   Peas “I wonder if this is two standards,” I thought, contemplating the Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | The Egyptian Pyramids

Posted 12:22pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

2.5/5 One of the biggest problems with Egyptian Pyramids is their distribution. Out of the 196 (suck it Xi) countries of the world, Egypt is the only country that has Egyptian pyramids. We need to fairly distribute those resources. We are the 99.489 percent. Of course one of the large popular Read more...

Mystery Object Hunt (August 14-20)

Posted 12:19pm Sunday 13th August 2017 by Critic

Harness your party hats. Inflate your balloons. Scatter the confetti. Get ready to celebrate like never before.   Monday 14 August – Gary Larson’s Birthday Nothing of importance is happening today, so I looked up famous peoples’ birthdays. Happy birthday, Read more...

David Clark | Snapchat

Posted 11:10am Sunday 13th August 2017 by David Clark

A major part of my role as a Member of Parliament is being able to have conversations with people across Dunedin North. Calls, emails and letters remain an important part of what I do – either calling or writing myself, or being on the receiving end. But changes in technology mean that I am Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 19

Posted 11:06am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week a mysterious event has thrown the ODT office into even more confusion, suspicion and vibration than normal.  Spontaneous combustion is just a normal day at the ODT. Unfortunately the flames were a curious beige-khaki. And wet. The ODT doesn’t like being wet. It reminds Read more...

Editorial | Do some art

Posted 10:18am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Lucy Hunter

It’s Art Week. Here’s one of my favourite quotes: “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” G. K. Chesterton said that. Before you say that explains Critic, let me elaborate. If you adhere to the better-known version of the quote, “if something is Read more...

Sage Advice | Sports

Posted 2:07pm Sunday 6th August 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.” - Michael Jordan   This question comes from a loyal reader: “To Sage Advice – we all know there are honourable and dishonourable acts in the world of sports. What are some of these, and how can we all become better human Read more...

Science Tank | Supervolcanoes

Posted 2:02pm Sunday 6th August 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

It was 75,000 years ago, and all was peaceful in the Sumatran jungle - birds were chirping and swishing through sunlight-dappled tree canopies, while insects chirruped busily on the jungle floor. Suddenly, a sonic boom pierced the air; rumbling shook the earth. All living things fell dead instantly Read more...