Advice on Giving Advice | Advice on Sending It

If you are reading this thinking we’re about to deliver some absolute pearlers on how to be the most productive you you’ve ever been, you’re about to be more disappointed than hearing certain presidential election results.

To be utterly frank, we operate purely off mantras. Somehow by chanting one of the following phrases, we’ve collected six degrees between the two of us in approx. five years. In that short space of time, we’ve smashed a lot of ceilings, glass and otherwise.

We’re talking: the Hospital roof, the glass roofing in the Meridian, several uni flat ceilings.

We’re talking: pulled out of med mainly because it’s ironic and also it confuses the shit out of the med students who think they’ve fucking sussed it.

We’re talking: climbing a fuck off mountain on three hours of sleep, hungover and a smashing a goon at the top, being the undefeated pong champions of the last 65 years (remember you can’t lose if you quit early) and starting Dunedin’s most iconic lifestyle Instagram: @Scarfie_Fitspo.

Anyway, enough beating the bush, here’s how to send it:

Conventional Method

  • Put a stamp on it
  • Send it

Unconventional Method

  • Do it before you regret it
  • Send it
  • Keep it simple get it done
  • Play hard, work hard (if you play hard enough you leave yourself no other option but to work especially hard)
  • Kelly’s actual words to the Med School Dean as she quit: “you know what, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE”


The most important thing about getting stuff done, is to drink coffee. Of course, it is important that you look after yourself, you don’t want to be on the never-ending train of productivity forever. The best brake for productivity is the charming combination of sunflower seeds in your vodka shotsTM. Sunflower seeds reduce the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease – and we all know that if you haven’t have enough coffee to be suffering from acute arrhythmia, you’re not being productive enough. 

Mainly the point we’re trying to make, is that there is no point to make. Life is a lot of dicking around, and then you die.

Remember to send any queries to @Scarfie_Fitspo or

Aroha Nui,

Auntie Kell and Mumma Zo

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2018.
Posted 8:26pm Thursday 22nd March 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport.