You Should Drink Bavaria This Weekend

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

I had splurged on a couple of unnecessary expenses this week, like an optometrist appointment and some vegetables, so I was feeling pretty skint when it came to the old moolah department. So it truly lifted my heart when I saw that New World was looking out for me with a $19.99 12-pack club card Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 10

Posted 3:51pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Sore Throat - A single treatment with kerosene oil will usually be sufficient to cure the worst case of sore throat. Toothache - Saturate cotton with kerosene and insert it in the tooth. It will generally afford speedy recovery. Speedy cure for colds - The kerosene oil remedy will cure most Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 10

Posted 2:57pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week the ODT has a story about a time travelling child who was also inexplicably drafted into the armed services. Either that or the ODT just made a characteristically insensitive ‘veteran’ pun.   It says a lot about sheep breeding as a talent that the Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 10

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Wee Doubt

Jonas Salk was an American medical researcher and virologist. He discovered and developed one of the first successful polio vaccines, released in 1955. Salk then announced he would not patent the vaccine. When asked about it, Salk said, "Could you patent the sun?" He believed that public Read more...

Poetry Corner | Issue 10

Posted 3:06pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Jess TC

Saturday and I am done, No more, sweet children, No more fun.   I dry my sheets, and make my bed —the Diesels have lost their power— Kettle’s boiled, Netflix instead, And then I’ll read for an hour. Ready for an early rise, My heavy head drops Read more...

David Clark | Issue 10

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by David Clark

Freedom of speech is incredibly important. Recently, several students have come to speak with me on this topic. Of course, when talking to a community representative like myself whose job it is to speak out on issues, they find themselves preaching to the choir. I was impressed with the Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 9

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Hi From Granddad

Posted 1:42pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Words by Mat Clarkso, art by Saskia Rushton-Green Hello! It is your Granddad here! Just dropping you a line to let you know how we are getting on at home! First, a little family news. Grandma has gone to visit her sister in Taupo, as you know I cannot stand that woman ever since she pointed out Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 9

Posted 1:54pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

The character of persons is sometimes indicated by the colour of the hair.  The bilious temperament, black hair and dark skin are generally found associated. These indicate strength of character and sensuality.  Fine hair and dark skin show purity, goodness and strong Read more...

David Clark | Issue 9

Posted 11:27am Sunday 30th April 2017 by David Clark

I hear from those who have been about the university for some time that anxiety and stress related illnesses are becoming more prevalent. The reasons for this are complex, though the growing expectations placed on young people likely play a part.  Just about everyone I speak with knows Read more...