Moaningful Confessions | The Nutcracker

Posted 6:18pm Sunday 28th March 2021 by Critic

So, it was the week I lost my virginity.  Myself and my "special friend" at the time were engaging in rampant intercourse, learning the ropes, in more ways than one. Anyhow, during one of these sessions she is riding me particularly hard and a loud "crack" resonates Read more...

Female Viagra vs Catholic Guilt

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Asia Martusia King

Men have Viagra. I have years of repressed Catholic guilt. This is incredibly unfair, and I decided to fix it by testing out all the female-libido drugs I could get my hands on.  Catholic guilt might sound bizarre to anyone who isn’t Catholic or recovered, considering Catholicism is Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Horn to My Hornette

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Critic

It was just after lockdown. Me and my best mate hit Starters the night of our touch downs back in the capital of the South Island. We were chomping at the bit to meet some sexy sirs.  I looked up to the Starters DJ to see that he was (to be frank) fucking PEAK breather sexiness, exactly my Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Part 2: A Big Night

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Critic

After a little convincing of his friend to vacate the one double bed we set to work. This time around we can get a little more adventurous.  He was slamming me from the back, pulling my hair and the icing on the cake was the ass slap that was so close to getting me to the edge. I would have Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 2:28pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Critic

  Dear Critic, I think my boyfriend and his flatmate are sleeping together. Every time I ask him about it, he says they’re “just friends” but one time, I saw her coming out of his room during a party at theirs. Help? Thanks,  Am I Being Crazy   Hi Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by Critic

  My problem? Broken banjo string. Seriously. Thanks, Patrick   Hi Patrick. I’ve never played an instrument, but I think you can buy replacement strings in town at Music Planet. I’m not sure they carry banjo equipment though. Maybe don’t strum so hard next Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Part 1: A Big Night

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by Critic

Queenstown. 2017. One woman. Three boys.   After a long day on the slopes, it seemed only right to indulge in a little après ski. The weather was hot for September and so were my hormones. We started the night as any fresher on a ski trip would, with a few cheeky bevvies in our Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Some Great Ass-bestos

Posted 12:24am Wednesday 3rd March 2021 by Critic

It’s very exciting to meet another gay in Dunedin, so when you do, you have to make the most of it. My girlfriend and I were in the U-Haul stage — we were already planning matching scissor stick n’ pokes and she’d lent me her copy of Fun Home, so you could say that it was Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 12:42am Wednesday 3rd March 2021 by Critic

Dear Critic, Here’s one for you. I’m having girl problems. I was trying to get with one of my flatmates last year, but she’s since come out as gay. All good, power to her, but things have gotten complicated this year. On Wednesday, she brought home a girl that I had been Read more...

The Butt-Loving Generation

Posted 9:06pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Critic

Asses are trending. Belfies are flooding Instagram. Songs like “Anaconda” and “Wiggle” became viral sensations. Brazilian butt lifts increased by 53% in 2013, and women are flooding to the gym to squat their life away. Previously, asking “does this dress make my butt Read more...