Moaningful Confessions | Like a Chainsaw

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Critic

I had a lot of questions when I first came into the possession of some anal beads, courtesy of Critic for some prior raunchy content. I had delved into a bit of butt stuff before but nothing much more than a thumb up the bum or a weak and dissatisfying attempt at anal. This gift had my senses piqued Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 8:27pm Sunday 2nd May 2021 by Critic

Dear Critic, I just hope he reads this. To the boy I slept with at Hyde: I have Chlamydia. I’m sorry. You had brown hair, a fade, and were wearing a vest and button-up combo as part of your Peaky Blinders fit. You were drinking Major Major. I think your name was James? I’m not sure. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Wrong Kind of Bang

Posted 8:29pm Sunday 2nd May 2021 by Critic

This boy was very cute. French, got the curls, six foot tall, eight inches, the whole package. We were a few dates in by this point, feeling each other out but not quite feeling each other up yet. This bitch was getting horny. One Friday night we decided to get dressed up and go to town. We chatted, Read more...

Netflix and Chill: Films reviewed by people who watched them as foreplay

Posted 2:54pm Monday 26th April 2021 by Fox Meyer

Here are some reviews of movies and TV by people who watched them before or during sexy times. The attention they gave to the film varies based on the performance of their partner. Some were clearly more captivating or capable than others, but the sweet spot for a Netflix and chill seems to be about Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Yanking My Christmas Cracker

Posted 9:58pm Monday 26th April 2021 by Critic

It's December, 2020, and I'm finally back home for Christmas break. With everyone stuck in one small house again (parents, siblings, pets, neighbours coming round), it gets pretty suffocating and sexually frustrating pretty quick. Lucky for me, I have a lad on call with a car. So, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Effortless Threesome

Posted 1:53am Monday 19th April 2021 by Critic

Flashback to 2017. It’s my first year at Otago University (I transferred from Canterbury because my life there was as flat as the city’s landscape).  It’s a Thursday night and I’m bored so I send an “upto” to someone I used to go to high school with. Lo Read more...

Piss Poor Moaningful Confession

Posted 1:20am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Critic

“Your essay is shit.”  My heart dropped to my stomach, I knew he was saying it in a playful tone, but I had spent a dismal night in St Daves trying to fix my assignment. This guy had passed this paper: he could help me make it better. He must have known his comment hurt because Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Nutcracker

Posted 6:18pm Sunday 28th March 2021 by Critic

So, it was the week I lost my virginity.  Myself and my "special friend" at the time were engaging in rampant intercourse, learning the ropes, in more ways than one. Anyhow, during one of these sessions she is riding me particularly hard and a loud "crack" resonates Read more...

Female Viagra vs Catholic Guilt

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Asia Martusia King

Men have Viagra. I have years of repressed Catholic guilt. This is incredibly unfair, and I decided to fix it by testing out all the female-libido drugs I could get my hands on.  Catholic guilt might sound bizarre to anyone who isn’t Catholic or recovered, considering Catholicism is Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | The Horn to My Hornette

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Critic

It was just after lockdown. Me and my best mate hit Starters the night of our touch downs back in the capital of the South Island. We were chomping at the bit to meet some sexy sirs.  I looked up to the Starters DJ to see that he was (to be frank) fucking PEAK breather sexiness, exactly my Read more...