The Godfather (1972)

The Godfather (1972)

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola

Rating: 1/5 Al Pacinos

I thought people said this was a good film? Clearly people are liars with bad taste because this soggy pile of crap completely ruined my day. First off, I had no idea who anyone was because they cast a bunch of white men with the same haircut and then decided to confuse me even more by lighting all these dumb old white men with the dimmest lighting imaginable. There are no fun colours, it’s always dark, and I hate it.

I had to look up the characters on Wikipedia because I couldn’t tell anyone apart, and have concluded that Don Corleone (Marlon Brando) is kind of boring and not very cool at all, while Michael (Al Pacino) is also not very cool and seems to just be waffling about doing whatever. He’s just a short dude with weird brothers and he’s mean to Diane Keaton. This is Pacino at his worst - no chemistry, no having fun, and definitely no cool factor.

That being said, it wasn’t all horrible. I felt sorry for the guy who had to sleep with the fishies. He just wanted to be told he did a good job at killing people and maybe get invited to more parties. I also liked the Italian girl who got blown up in the car. I could really identify with her because I am a learner driver too. She had been practising her driving heaps and was getting pretty not terrible and I was super proud of her and then she just went and got blown up. Learner drivers don’t get shown in films very often and there are a lot of dangers on the road, so I really appreciated getting to see her story.

Is this a good film? No. Is it a great film? Also no. Did I waste THREE HOURS watching it? Yes.

This article first appeared in Issue 14, 2017.
Posted 1:32pm Sunday 9th July 2017 by Jac Aske.