Isaac Newton is most famous for his work on the theory on gravity. In 1687, Newton published Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, which is right up there with Darwin’s Origin of Life as one of the most influential science books ever published. The book laid down Newton’s three laws of motion and the law of universal gravitation. However, this column isn’t about these laws. It’s about Newton himself, because he was one weird man.
Isaac Newton was extremely reclusive. Scholars believe Newton probably died a virgin. He never married and there are no records that even allude to Newton losing his V. One of the smartest people that ever lived spent his whole life in deep thought, but was never curious enough to have sex.
Newton, however, still acted on impulses. One day he became his own human guinea pig when he stuck a blunt needle into his eye. At the time it was contentious as to whether eyes were responsible for collecting light or creating it. Newton pressed the needle deep into his eye until he saw several white circles. This, apparently, cleared up the light debate.
Newton also spent a lot of time studying the Bible. As well as being a scientist, Newton was an extremely religious man. At 19 years old, he wrote a bizarre confession of 48 sins he wasn’t too proud of. This list included terrible sins such as “making pies on Sunday night” and “stealing cherry cobs from Eduard Storer”. Newton published prolifically on the Bible, at one point calculating the date of Jesus’ crucifixion and calculating the earliest possible date of Armageddon as 2060.
Another seemingly contradictory hobby of Newton’s was his interest in the practice and study of alchemy. Alchemy is a kind of pseudoscience combining speculative philosophy and chemistry. Alchemy is concerned with discovering ways to transform base metals into gold and the quest to find an elixir of life. Newton published over 100 books on the topic. He was a dude with a lot on his mind.