Archive

Science Bitches | Issue 4

Posted 2:02pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Ben Cravens

When most people think of bees, they think of the adorable insects that give us honey. However, they’re much more than that. Our future is inextricably linked with theirs. Close to a third of America’s food supply requires honeybee pollination. But, since 2007, bees have been Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 5

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

I have faith that the young gentlemen of Otago University are too intelligent to indulge in the evils of self-pollution (masturbation). However, without careful vigilance, a boisterous lifestyle and impure thoughts, even without action, can lead to night-time ejaculations that will drain the vital Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 5

Posted 11:22am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT is reporting on mysteries from beyond the realm of life and death. We at ODT Watch thought that the mystery was done and dusted when the ghost roses rose from the dead, but apparently that was merely the beginning.   Moving further into the surreal paranoid Read more...

David Clark | Issue 5

Posted 11:12am Sunday 26th March 2017 by David Clark

It’s no secret that I’m excited about the election later this year. I really enjoy campaigning, and going into this year’s election Labour is rearing to go and fighting fit. We’ve got a rejuvenated team, and a set of policies that will make important investments in our Read more...

Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 5

Posted 11:10am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Claire Macindoe

The legend of the discovery of penicillin is one that is familiar in modern history. Alexander Fleming, a man not known for his cleanliness, leaves a petri dish unwashed for a couple of weeks – much like your flatmate’s dishes – and discovers a mould with mystical Read more...

Editorial | Issue 5

Posted 10:37am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Two of our features this week deal with issues of paranoia, and how easy it is to write it off as “crackpot” behaviour. Think about doomsday preppers and you’re likely picturing a guy who lives in a buried caravan with his 900 guns, 4,000 bottles of whiskey, and pet pig. Mention Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 4

Posted 3:04pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 4

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Student Support

Our bastard landlord from last year chucked out all our stored furniture, even though the new tenants had said it was sweet with them. We didn’t even leave it in the house but had made a massive effort and put it all really neatly in the shed outside. When we came back to get it the week Read more...

The Moths

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

One day the moths became people. Sheds and undergrowth and houses were suddenly jammed with limbs and heads and bodies. Cocoons popped, disgorging viscous fluid filled with half formed ears and teeth. Dusty corpses filled the windowsills, blocking out the light like mummified curtains. Many Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 4

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

This is an inflammation of the urethra, or external urinary passage, and is generally occasioned by an impure connection; although a disease of a similar character may arise from having connection with a healthy woman during menstruation; and it is sometimes produced by leucorrhea (discharge) in the Read more...

Ray in Dunedin

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Radhika Raghav

“What! Satyajit Ray in Dunedin!” was my reaction when Prof. Radner, my thesis advisor, told me about a film society that was screening three restored versions of Ray’s films. I was new to Dunedin and the first couple of months in the city, on a philosophical level, offered me a Read more...

What if the University of Otago didn’t exist?

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

Dunedin. Population: 127,500. Number of university students: 20,000. It’s fair to say that students make up a sizable chunk of the Dunedin population. The University brings in young adults from near and far, and with them their money. Let’s face it; McDonalds wouldn’t nearly be as Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 4

Posted 11:11am Sunday 19th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

ODT Watch has been contacted by humans (unusual for us) asking whether we doctor the ODT’s headlines to make them funnier. We would like to formally deny this slander. The ODT is funny enough without having to change a thing. Case in point: What followed was a whimsical tale of an Read more...

Health in All Things

Posted 10:56am Sunday 19th March 2017 by David Clark

Every New Zealander deserves access to quality  affordable healthcare, but access is not as affordable as it once was. Last year more than 500,000 people reported cost as a major factor preventing them visiting their GP when they were ill. I recently succeeded Labour’s Annette King as Read more...

Editorial | Issue 4

Posted 10:13am Sunday 19th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

We’ve all been there. You walk into a function in your assless rubber pants with a ball-gag in your mouth, slathered in mayonnaise and holding a bunch of torpedo beetroot, and everyone else is in smart-casual blouses and slacks. You just can’t relax the whole night. That’s because Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 3

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 3

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Jessica Thompson

I was baby-sitting my little sister that afternoon and we decided to go to Discovery World. She loved the giant piano but got pretty bored with everything else so we paid to visit the Butterfly room. There was no one inside. My sister ran off to gawk at the glass boxes containing caterpillars and Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 3

Posted 3:08pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Asthma is a spasmodic disease, characterised by paroxysms of difficult breathing, with great wheezing, and a dreadful sense of constriction across the chest; each paroxysm terminates by the expectoration of a more or less abundant of mucus. It is now considered a mucus disease dependant upon some Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 3

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Student Support

Stuck with flatties! I’m a second-year student and it’s my first time flatting. I’m flatting with people from my hall from first-year but I actually fucking hate their guts. They have parties at my house and don’t invite me. I’ve signed a full-year Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 3

Posted 2:48pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

This is a controversial statement to make at a university. For a long time I saw education as a human right, something that should be universally accessible to all those seeking it. Sure, it might be a drag on the taxpayer, but investing in educating a population helps keeps the populous politicians Read more...