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Horoscope

Posted 1:25am Monday 19th April 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Feeling manic? Call your therapist. To bake this week: your mind  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 You need to stop dwelling on yet another failed talking stage. You can do better than tinder breathas.  To bake this week: chocolate covered Read more...

EDITORIAL: Sign Up Club Should Absolutely Not Take Over OUSA’s Meeting

Posted 8:42pm Sunday 18th April 2021 by Erin Gourley

I repeat, Sign Up Club should NOT take over the OUSA Student General Meeting that is taking place on Wednesday 21 April at 12pm in Union Hall. It would be VERY BAD if Sign Up Club sent say a hundred members of their pyramid scheme, and their members voted as a bloc making up over 50% of the Read more...

Piss Poor Moaningful Confession

Posted 1:20am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Critic

“Your essay is shit.”  My heart dropped to my stomach, I knew he was saying it in a playful tone, but I had spent a dismal night in St Daves trying to fix my assignment. This guy had passed this paper: he could help me make it better. He must have known his comment hurt because Read more...

Fuck, I'm in Love!

Posted 1:14am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Alice Taylor

I passionately believe that the most effective way to tell your special someone you love them is through the gift of chocolate in molten form. These gooey chocolate puddings are so easy to make and will make the person you give it to feel very special. And if you don’t happen to have another Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 1:09am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Sasha Freeman

Rate The flying fox behind gardens New World. Provides much entertainment on a dusty walk home from town. Wearing the same top as another girl at a party. It’s not embarrassing, that’s just how you know you’re fashionable.  Adults on Lime scooters. You go Read more...

Booze Reviews | Rodenbach

Posted 1:02am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Chug Norris

Rodenbach caused Black Friday levels of sensation at Centre City New World when they were put on sale for $1.99 for a six-pack. Ahead of the curve, I managed to grab 48 cans ($16 worth) before the masses swept the rest away. This turned out to be one of the worst decisions of my life.  In my Read more...

Acting Vice-Chancellor Cancels Uni’s Moth Protection, Moths Eat Everything

Posted 12:57am Sunday 11th April 2021 by The Critical Tribune

The University Senate last week voted to drop the Uni’s moth protection plan. In the days since, moths have wreaked havoc across campus. “The University has been held hostage by Big Moth for too long,” said the new Vice-Chancellor. “As part of this new regime of financial Read more...

Catholics Gave Up Paying for Uber Eats for Lent

Posted 12:55am Sunday 11th April 2021 by The Critical Tribune

This year for Lent, Catholics gave up paying for UberEats after a mandate straight from the Pope.  “Stop giving your money to a greedy multi-national corporation for Lent,” said the Pope. “The Catholic church does not condone giving your money to an unethical company when Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 12:49am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Just because you’re an air sign, doesn’t mean you can keep ghosting people. It’s time to face your commitment issues.  Houseplant of choice: Cobwebs    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 With midterms ramping up, there will be more Read more...

EDITORIAL: Harlene Certainly Left Her Mark on Otago

Posted 9:24pm Saturday 10th April 2021 by Erin Gourley

Harlene left Otago a few weeks ago, but that was too early in the year for Critic Te Arohi to have our shit together. We’re writing about her legacy now.  Her exit was quiet. There’s not a lot of fanfare about Vice-Chancellors, despite the impact they have. The University Read more...