Medical Student Concedes She is Not a Doctor

Medical Student Concedes She is Not a Doctor

In a shocking revelation, medical student Lily has admitted that she is “not a doctor”.

Lily’s friend Sam was playing a game of pick up at Logan park. He twisted his ankle, and the crowd turned to well-known second year med student Lily for help. She refused.

“I’m not a doctor yet, you should probably get it looked at by someone who actually knows what they’re talking about,” she said. Sam’s mates took him to Dunedin Hospital for a real doctor to examine the injury instead.

When the Tribune followed up with Lily, she claimed she was, “just doing what all early medical students get told to do.” “I’m not a hero,” she said, modestly. “A lot of damage can be done if injuries are treated improperly.”

Other students disagree with Lily’s move. One first-year health sci student named Luke, interviewed at UniCol, said he had been claiming “to be a doctor since arriving at Uni, there is just something about being a doctor that people just respond well to.”

Since Luke doesn’t get the respect he craves for being at UniCol, claiming to be a doctor is really needed for his mental stability. However, his 69% in CHEM191 might lead him to discover that he’s actually always wanted to be a dentist.

This article first appeared in Issue 24, 2021.
Posted 3:54pm Sunday 26th September 2021 by The Critical Tribune.