Archive

Skuxx Food | Italian (or Greek, or NYC) style meatballs:

Posted 2:34pm Saturday 9th April 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Here’s how to make some really awesome yet simple meatballs. You can add them to any meal you like. I recommend a tomato-based pasta or, as pictured here, a Greek-style couscous salad. If you’re proper ceebs, chuck them in a bread roll and call it a NYC meatball sub. With these bad boys, Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 2:31pm Saturday 9th April 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Elliot. We got last week’s submission correct, though it nearly killed us: Shimla, India, from the parking lot of Christ Church. First thoughts: Definitely looks Japanese. I wonder if this is Himeji Castle. We’ll see. Not Himeji Castle, so Read more...

GHOTI

Posted 1:23am Saturday 9th April 2022 by Fox Meyer

If you’re trying to learn English, good fuckin’ luck, because “GHOTI” is pronounced “fish” (touGH, wOmen, acTIon).  English is a bizarre and wonderful language, and I am so, so glad that I was born into it rather than having to learn it as an adult. Of all Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 6:57pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to fill your life with more wholesome hobbies to ward off the feelings of depression and loneliness. Try going to the farmers market, or knitting, or writing a book about how fucked everything is.  Dunedin sight to see: Cargill’s Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | See you later, phallus-gater. In a while, Crocs-odile

Posted 6:53pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Critic

I hadn’t had a root since the world’s greatest heartbreak hit me a year earlier. I was ready. It was my time of the month, I was wearing my lucky dress and my favourite Crocs. My way of flirting with everyone and anyone was to insist that after every nang, you smooch the person next to Read more...

Snoop Dog

Posted 6:50pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

In this column, we’ll be using the internet to try to figure out exactly where people took their random photos. This week, we have an image provided by Kirsty. We got last week’s entry correct, the photo from Mr. Abel was indeed taken from the cafe at Griffith Observatory in Los Read more...

Hardy’s 1L (all of it, it’s all the same)

Posted 6:45pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Chug Norris

Hardy’s is perhaps the most widely consumed wine in Dunedin. Not a BYO goes by where a bottle does not appear. The iconic one litre bottle towers over the laughably dainty 750 mL bottles on the table. But Hardy’s is also special in another respect: it is utterly shit. It is a symbol of Read more...

Skuxx Food | Rocket Pesto

Posted 6:41pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

This is my go-to pesto recipe as it makes HEAPS and is cheaper than making a traditional homemade pesto (which is made from fresh basil and pine nuts). Top tip: add this to some cooked pasta and your flatties will go wild. Check out @skuxxfood on Instagram for some pesto-pasta inspo.  Makes Read more...

Call Me By Your (Latin/Indigenous/English) Name

Posted 5:37pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Fox Meyer

Human brains are not designed to sit at a desk and memorise content for hours on end, they’re built to remember stories. When we stop thinking in terms of stories, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. This is especially poignant in the grown-up sciences, which have traditionally felt Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Bloody Hell

Posted 6:24pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Critic

Now, I’ve got a lot of issues, and chronic sinus problems is one of them. Usually, in my day-to-day life, my chronic sinus pain and blockage doesn’t bother me apart from the odd sniffle or headache. But in my sex life, well, that’s a different story.  Let me set the scene. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 6:22pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You need sleep, tequila, and the ability to learn what quiet hours are.  Breakfast to have: Greek yoghurt bowl.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces women are like Taylor Swift. Every time a man wrongs you, you just get hotter and more famous. Read more...

Fizzliss Cranberry & Apple Vodka

Posted 6:17pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Chug Norris

I was going to review Fizzliss’ new Pineapple and Passionfruit flavour but it had sold out in every store in Dunedin, so it must be good. Instead I acquired the formerly infamous Cranberry flavour to see if it still maintained its laxative properties. It did not. But it does taste way Read more...

Skuxx Food | Spicy Chorizo Pasta

Posted 6:15pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Use this recipe as a base for any tomato ragù-based pasta dish! Simply swap out the chorizo and mushrooms for any other meat and vegetables of your choice. Get creative, stay skuxx.  Serves 6  Ingredients:  600 grams of short pasta (I used rigatoni, but penne or Read more...

Snoop Dog

Posted 6:10pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

In this column, we’ll be using the internet to try to figure out exactly where people took their random photos. This week, we had an image supplied by a Mr. Abel. Let’s see if we can figure out exactly where it was taken. First Thoughts: Alright, I think this is somewhere in the US or Read more...

Cheeky Cheater Cheats Cheap Cheaters

Posted 5:37pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Sometimes failure can lead people to their true calling, as recently discovered by an entrepreneur who lost her passion for first year Health Sci after one failed progress test. Now pursuing a Business degree, Critic became aware of Annie after several tearful complaints from Auckland HSFY students Read more...

Discussion-Dominating Student Dismisses Claims of Disruption

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Critic Te Arohi had a chat with Danny, a third year student who, according to the Geography department, takes up 60% of discussion time in tutorials.  “I mean, I don’t really do the readings but I just kinda catch the vibe,” he told Critic through hoons that he blew in our Read more...

Bush-bound Bandit Bamboozled by Bureaucracy

Posted 5:35pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Jamie O’Mannin, 31, was recently arrested after spending the last 12 years living on the West Coast, subsisting off of freeze-dried meals stolen from trampers spending the night in DoC huts. He had overstayed his visa by 11 years. Jamie was arrested last week, when he was caught in Mt. Read more...

Beezies Bewildered by Bad Beverage Breakouts

Posted 5:34pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Local girls have recently been shocked to discover that their ultra-healthy, sugar-free RTDs have horrible side effects. Critic Te Arohi spoke to Samantha who bemoaned, “I can’t believe it. My collagen boosting drink with notes of aloe vera and angel piss gave me a pimple the next Read more...

Satellites are Scary

Posted 5:05pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Fox Meyer

The United States has this plane called the Dragon Lady. The U-2, like the band. It’s a spyplane, originally from the Cold War era. There’s a camera on the bottom of this thing, a big glass ball that sticks out. From the stratosphere, it can tell if you’re holding a can of Coke or Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | A Cocktower Confession

Posted 3:19pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Critic

Once upon a time, in a place not too far away, your girl did something a lil’ bit nasty on Uni grounds. I had been going to some university events which I shall not name, in the sake of protecting my identity and, well, my ego. While I was there, I met a pretty cute boy whom I shall call Read more...