“Look, I don’t want the liberal PC media woke brigade to cancel me,” said Ms A. Von to Critic Tribune, “but if you take a closer look at the culture behind, y’know, pyramid schemes, something doesn’t add up,” she concluded, with all the authority of someone who’s taxes also don’t add up. “The technology is just far too advanced,” said A. Von while trying to neg a passerby into buying her gluten free dog shampoo. “I truly believe there were outside influences,” she said, gesturing upwards to the sky from her throne of disintegrating wonder bras and expired essential oils. “I’m not saying aliens, but I’m not not saying aliens, so if you sign up today in my downline you can make money working from home – or in space when our overlords retrieve us at last.”
“Free Thinker” Millennial Wonders Who Really Built the Pyramid Scheme She Joined
