Horoscope

Posted 1:25am Monday 19th April 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Feeling manic? Call your therapist. To bake this week: your mind  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 You need to stop dwelling on yet another failed talking stage. You can do better than tinder breathas.  To bake this week: chocolate covered Read more...

Some Astrology Bullshit About Chl÷e Swarbrick

Posted 12:18am Monday 19th April 2021 by Asia Martusia King

Jacinda Arden wouldn’t give me her birth time. But I figured that if any other politician had a CoStar it would be Chlöe Swarbrick, because she’s queer and vegan. I was wrong. Thankfully she’s a gem, and texted her mum for me. Chlöe schlorped into this world on 26th Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 12:49am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Just because you’re an air sign, doesn’t mean you can keep ghosting people. It’s time to face your commitment issues.  Houseplant of choice: Cobwebs    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 With midterms ramping up, there will be more Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 28th March 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Treat yourself to some self care this week. Maybe a quirky new outfit or different vape flavour. Go get 'em.   Vegan food to try: Vape juice   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It's time to stop creating steamy fantasies in your head Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 1:40pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Flo and O are over, you should probably stop partying now and open a goddamn book. Your lecturers and liver will thank you for it.  Your high: Codeine   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Make sure you soak up the last week of your season baby. Get all the Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Every day that passes is another day that you don't have a mullet. Just get one already.  This week’s beauty hack: Extra hard gel    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 This season is turbulent for everyone else except you. Keep Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 12:41am Sunday 7th March 2021 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Uni stress has already piled on top of you, like the debt from your Summer festivals. Haha good luck, no advice here.  Your flat cooking menu: Stir fry with frozen veges.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Happy birthday lol, hope Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 8:35am Wednesday 3rd March 2021 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Your birthday season went by so fast that no one realised it was all about you. Just think about the uneventful past month. Sorry.  Your O-Week peak: Getting over your birthday depression.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s all about Read more...

Horoscope | Issue 12

Posted 2:25pm Sunday 17th May 2015 by Madame McMystery

Do you struggle with making basic life decisions? Worried about never bumping into your campus soulmate, or whether to eat two-minute noodles for every dinner this week? Fear not, chums, for I, Madame McMystery, have gazed deep into the cosmos to reveal the secrets the planetary alignments hold in Read more...

Horoscope | Issue 11

Posted 2:17pm Sunday 10th May 2015 by Madame McMystery

Do you struggle with making basic life decisions? Worried about never bumping into your campus soulmate, or whether to eat two-minute noodles for every dinner this week? Fear not, chums, for I, Madame McMystery, have gazed deep into the cosmos to reveal the secrets the planetary alignments hold in Read more...

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