ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 10:11am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week we would like to devote all our space (and most of the Facts and Figures space as well) to addressing the ODT’s cryptic and eye catching post-election image. Interestingly, the ODT decided to avoid any specific reference to Game of Thrones in the picture; presumably to throw Read more...

Editorial | Coalition Negotiations Aside, We Must Not Forget the Important Issues of the Election

Posted 9:20am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Joe Higham

What the (provisional) election results reveal, apart from the fact that very few people seem to understand how the Mixed Member Proportional (MMP) voting system works, is that much of New Zealand remains uncomfortable confronting the severity, or even the existence in some cases, of the problems we Read more...

Clark V. Woodhouse | Student allowances and living costs

Posted 11:31am Sunday 24th September 2017 by David Clark

Michael Woodhouse National is committed to supporting students with the costs associated with tertiary study. A tertiary education is a major investment, not just for you as students, but for New Zealand as a country. New Zealand has one of the most generous student support systems in the Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Issue 24

Posted 12:49pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Penicillin (1/5)  Helps people live longer and prolong the misery of existence. Also, misleadingly does not contain pencils.   Sex (1.5/5) Too much tiring effort.   The Wheel (3.5/5) Rolls pretty well. Not much use for other things.   Boats Read more...

Poetry Corner | Woooajhhhaohahahapahaahshoooahhh

Posted 2:05pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Brennan Gale

This is the time to strike, the time for us to be reborn, a native imbalance, restoring the faith of our past. Once again, we've failed, failed to reinvigorate our retinas, failed to reach the desired result. We were once great, now we're shredded, dreaded, beheaded. Thoughtless opinions, Read more...

The Hell Hole | Worm

Posted 2:09pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Anon

There was a tiny dot on the end of my nose; a single pore with a pinprick of yellow gunk. I scratched it, then, when it didn’t move, I squeezed it. A tiny tiny worm arced out and plonked its weeny yellow head onto the skin on my nose. A teeny pore-worm. Nice. The worm was wriggling. It Read more...

Lucky in Love | Etad & Dnilb

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Bog Irish Bar, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email: critic@critic.co.nz   ETAD Across the road from the bog I stood like a dear in the headlights. I’m not one to Read more...

Hapsburg Absinthe is a Freight Train to A & E

Posted 2:28pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Hapsburg Absinthe is a fucking crisis in a bottle. It makes Hurricane Irma look like a gentle breeze. Absinthe burns like the spray I get from the cricket club’s 4th XI opening bowler when I drop a sitter at mid-on. Absinthe is the end of the road, binge drinking’s natural finale. Read more...

Sage Advice | The Funny Numbers

Posted 2:22pm Sunday 24th September 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“Numbers are the highest degree of knowledge. They are knowledge themselves.” - Plato   This question comes from a loyal reader: “I'm at a quandary: which is the funnier number, 420 or 69?” Thanks for another great question. 69 and 420 are the funny numbers. Read more...

Editorial | Podcasts

Posted 10:30am Sunday 24th September 2017 by Lucy Hunter

After all the complaints we received about last week’s editorial, I’d like to say at the outset that this editorial represents the views of Critic, Radio One, everybody at OUSA, the university staff, and the entire student population of Dunedin. By reading this, you must agree with Read more...