Horoscope | Issue 1

Posted 12:02am Friday 21st February 2020

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius Season is nearly over and everyone else will be relieved. This week’s 2am feast: A Macca’s cheeseburger that you dropped on the road.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Asking people their moon and rising sign won’t make you less Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue 26

Posted 9:17pm Thursday 3rd October 2019

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     Before we get into this story I need to explain something so the end makes sense. In the hall last year my friend and I took these sexy red undies from Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 26

Posted 8:51pm Thursday 3rd October 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 This is the week that you make an official request to change the term ‘mail man’ to ‘femail Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Breathe In and Breathe Out

Posted 8:46pm Thursday 3rd October 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. Critic Blind Date is no longer taking applications for 2019; keep an eye out for your chance next year.     Breathe In Having just come out of a test at 7pm and with no Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 25

Posted 10:30pm Sunday 29th September 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Hypothetically, if you’re sure that you’ve broken your rib but are too afraid to get an X-ray because you’re embarrassed about all the Lego men you’ve ingested, I’m here to tell you: don’t let that deep shame hold you back from Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Spicy

Posted 10:20pm Sunday 29th September 2019

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     When I was at Arana the RA on my dorm floor kept a cardboard box with condoms in it attached to the wall just above eye level by his door in the hallway. Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Elon Musk and Grimes

Posted 8:00pm Sunday 29th September 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. Critic Blind Date is no longer taking applications for 2019; keep an eye out for your chance next year.     Elon Musk So the big night had finally come, I was at my flat, Read more...

Jack “The Poor Man’s James Heath” Manning Wins OUSA President in a Boring, Boring Result

Posted 10:48pm Friday 20th September 2019

It’s more of the same for OUSA as Jack Manning takes the Presidential Crown. Jack, who prides himself on being described as “the poor man’s James Heath,” proved to be the most vanilla presidential candidate and won on being everyone’s second choice in the single Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue 24

Posted 8:48pm Friday 20th September 2019

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     It all started with a feeling of impending doom post that fucker of a Chem 191 midterm, and the fact that I’m in first year health sci and Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 24

Posted 10:43am Friday 20th September 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Things are weighing heavy on your mind this week, Aquarius. If you stick a finger far enough up your nose you’ll be able to pull out some brain matter and ease the pressure. This week’s inspiring mumble rap lyric: “Karma’s a bitch but she Read more...