Moaningful Confessions | Issue 3

Posted 12:46pm Saturday 7th March 2020

Dr Lauren Carwell* was the sexiest lecturer I had ever seen. She was maybe 28ish with a nice body and sexy eyes. The fact that she was in a position of power added an even hotter appeal, and I never missed a class for this reason. Although I was at uni, I felt like a stupid young schoolboy with a Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 5th March 2020

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 This week you will be kink shamed. Probably by me. This week’s lube flavour: Yeast   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Hmm something smells fishy. Vagisil, anyone? This week’s lube flavour: Birthday cake   Aries Mar 21 - Apr Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 3

Posted 5:48pm Thursday 5th March 2020

Critic Booze Review: Odd Company’s The Cheeky One If you haven’t been to Leith Liquor in the past week or so, you’re probably wondering, what the fuck is this drink? Let me enlighten you. Sick of Long Whites being the only alcohol I can manage to stomach after years of Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Him and Her

Posted 4:27pm Thursday 5th March 2020

HIM: I was pretty skeptical about how the whole thing was going to go down. Then my date arrived. Fuck me, Critic really pulled through on this one. We headed off to the peace gardens (that place where you can get free salad beside OUSA), for some drinks and a vape. When my date proceeded to Read more...

Bone Apple Teeth: Eggs Benedict for a Good Fuck

Posted 6:10pm Thursday 27th February 2020

The morning after sex plays a vital role in defining your future. If the person in question is a definite one night stand, then you needn’t worry about a good breakfast impression. A bowl of cereal is, in that case, an offer of sincere generosity. But let’s say you’ve made love to Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 6:07pm Thursday 27th February 2020

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 New year, new you. Go to the gym and then immediately treat yourself with Maccas. This week’s drug of choice: Sugar   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s your birthday. Drop out of Health Sci and do that film degree. This week’s drug of Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Apollo and Artemis

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 27th February 2020

APOLLO I approached the Critic Blind Date with a devil-may-care attitude; I wasn’t necessarily looking for a long-term relationship, but I’d happily take whatever happened naturally. I had signed up on a whim and was excited to see what would happen. I’m happy to say that my Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Harry and Megan

Posted 2:31am Friday 21st February 2020

HARRY   Taking chances can lead to the most rewarding experiences in life. When the call went out and Ol’ mate Critic needed some help, I was happy to oblige. A new format was interesting enough, but late afternoon was a rough time. Both parties were sober and the experience had a Read more...

A-to-Z of words you should know at Otago

Posted 12:17am Friday 21st February 2020

AGNEW            A popular party street, often thought as of far superior to the likes of the ticketed Hyde Street Party   BREATHA           A person who lives, or rather breathes, for the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Issue 1

Posted 12:12am Friday 21st February 2020

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     I was going to send this in last year but at the time there were some rumours flying around about one of the people involved and I didn’t want to Read more...