Everyone’s Favourite $4 Lunch Lady Begins A “New Incarnation”

Posted 2:27pm Sunday 17th July 2022 by Denzel Chung

Jane “J-Ma” Beecroft, long-known as the $4 lunch lady, is beginning a “new incarnation” on campus. She’s hoping her new “chat room,” which she calls “Life, the Universe and Everything”, will help provide a space where students can feel Read more...

Editorial: Chlöe Swarbrick Knows Muay Thai

Posted 2:21pm Sunday 17th July 2022 by Fox Meyer

Last week, experienced Muay Thai champion and Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick defended her title against the underqualified and inexperienced challenger Fox Meyer, editor of Critic Te Arohi, in what viewers described as a “one-sided beatdown for the ages”. “I didn’t know Read more...

Ireland Screws All Blacks, Unscrews Lightbulbs

Posted 1:14pm Wednesday 13th July 2022 by Fox Meyer

After handing the All Blacks their first-ever Dunedin defeat on Saturday 9 July, the Irish national rugby team parked up at Vault 21. And evidently, they weren’t too keen on leaving.   Chris Dickie, a bartender at Vault, said that as closing time grew near that night, staff at the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | An Intimate Knowledge of Criminal Activity

Posted 12:46pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic

I’m going to have to keep this kinda vague because I’m scared that someone will burn my house down, but here goes. A few months ago, I was enrolled in this course. I was living in the town, and was surrounded by people from all over. It was a great time, I learned heaps, and although I Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 12:44pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you’re reading this, it’s a sign to abandon all sense of responsibility and chase your dreams. Don’t let social norms confine you.  Re-O Activity: A skiing getaway.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Chances are, you’re Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 2:29am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image provided by Paul. We got last issue’s submissions pretty much correct: Elias was “pretty much” on the roof of the Place Seffarine, Fez, Morocco.  First Thoughts: Well, it’s definitely a tower, and it looks all festive and fun. I Read more...

Booze Review | Wild Buck

Posted 2:26am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Chug Norris

There has never been as grim a beer as Wild Buck. It may be marketed as some sort of salt of the earth, deep country beer, but the reality is it’s just a mixture of sludge dredged from the bottom of the Waikato, and fermented deer piss. It is feral. If you are ever unlucky enough to find Read more...

Skuxx Food | Lemon, Leek and Pea Risotto

Posted 2:25am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Cleanskin wine is more than a golden dollar-to-standard drink ratio, it's a valuable ingredient. When you actually decide it's gross and can’t drink it anymore, you can use it to make a bangin’ risotto the next day! So versatile! Serves 5 people Ingredients:  1 onion, Read more...

Local Produce | Jason Hart of Tutor4U

Posted 2:22am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

If spending two weeks of break relaxing, along with the introspection of Matariki, has got you thinking ‘new semester, new me?’ then we have some good news for you. Whether your resolution revolves around finding stability in your grades or your finances, Tutor4U, a marketplace for Read more...

Foul Player? More like FOWL PLAYA!

Posted 2:19am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Ruby Werry

For those unaware, the last time Critic had a chat with Ōtepoti’s famous gay ducks it ended with a show of epic proportions and an unexpected pregnancy. So, another tabloid issue and another year later, Critic launched a check-in with our favourite dysfunctional queer Read more...