Dictionary of Rare Duds Slang

Posted 7:39pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Acoustic adjective: To wank without the use of sex toys, objects, or lubricant. Ex: “I forgot to charge my Satisfyer so I had to go acoustic last night.” Synonyms: Acapella, cavemanning.  Analogue: adjective. Hand-rolled cigarettes, as opposed to pre-rolled. Battler: noun. Read more...

A Guide to the Night Sky: Existential Crises Have Never Been So Accessible

Posted 6:47pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Keegan Wells

The night sky is like your lectures: you catch yourself saying “I should go look at that sometime” and rarely actually follow up. However, this article is not here to tell you to watch your lectures. Lectures cost around a box and a half ($35) apiece if you’re a domestic student, Read more...

A Time-controlled Study on the RTD-Teeth-Grossness Connection

Posted 6:39pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Beth Wishart

Abstract This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home. Eight little piggy’s teeth were submerged in RTDs to see how fast they’d dissolve over time. The teeth were sourced as humanely as possible and handed over to Critic’s Science Editor to run the Read more...

Goth Vs. Wild

Posted 6:34pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Lotto Ramsay

For a natural science major, I kinda hate going outside. Nature is great and all and I want to help conserve it, but just so other people can enjoy it. Me? No, I’m good thanks. Trying to quit, actually.  Another issue is that my degree is full of what I refer to as the Outdoor Folk. I Read more...

International Students Brag About Snow

Posted 6:29pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by The Critical Tribune

During last week’s snowfall, international students (mostly American) took to the streets to remind everyone how good they were at dealing with snow. “Kiwis here really can’t handle snow”, said one American, kitted out in jeans and jandals for a brisk walk down snowy George. Read more...

Local Man Warns of Rampant Scam

Posted 6:28pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Dave, local pisshead and student, contacted the news to report a scam. “Hey bro, I just realized the other day that I’m actually being scammed, and I need to tell other people about it”, he warned. It was very serious. “So, turns out, I’m being scammed by my Read more...

Stop Your Crying, It’s a Sign of the (Local Election) Times

Posted 6:27pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

Many signs showed that local elections were in full swing over the last three weeks – including plenty outside student flats. What encourages people to turn their front yards into a massive election advertising space? Critic Te Ārohi talked to some of these flats to find out.  One Read more...

Cutlers Allegedly “Pressures” Tenants

Posted 6:26pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Denzel Chung

A student has accused Cutlers Property Management of using “pressure tactics” to force them to re-sign their flat as early as June. This included advertising their flat for rent before they’d decided what they wanted to do next year, and preparing to hold flat viewings without Read more...

Lecturer Brings Protests, Podcasts into Classroom

Posted 6:24pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Nina Brown

Computer science students in COSC203 have voiced concerns (and confusion) over a recent ethics lecture and assignment by lecturer Iain Hewson. Despite ostensibly being a web, databases, and networks paper, students Critic Te Ārohi spoke to claimed that neither the lecture nor the assignment Read more...

Editorial: It’s initiation season

Posted 6:21pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Fox Meyer

I’ve been to two universities in the States, both of them had Greek life. Neither was as problematic as Dunedin’s initiation scene. Stop celebrating, that’s not a good thing.  One thing that you can celebrate (I guess) is that Kiwis would absolutely destroy American frat Read more...