What Dunedin Street Litter Are You?

What Dunedin Street Litter Are You?

Tag yourself, I’m “random chunk of someone’s hair”

A single sock. Ciggie butts. The natural landscape of Dunedin is rich with treasures.

They say “you are what you eat,” but also “you are what you throw away.” Bins overflowing with torn black rubbish bags. Noodles, spilled like entrails from a corpse. Bits of rubber and glass and plastic fibrous mesh strewn across the ground form the background to our Dunedin mosaic.

Each piece of rubbish has a story to tell. A box left empty, dropped by the boys who bought it. A wing mirror, separated from its soulmate. A broke-back textbook, never read past the first chapter. In a neighbourhood populated by rats and humans who get called rats, trash is as natural, and more common, grass. Look into the soul mirror of the rubbish, dear reader, and tell us what your reflection resembles. 


Rain-soaked Domino’s Pizza Box

-Had asthma as a kid

-Sniffs underwear to see if it’s dirty

-Spends their student allowance on drugs

-Still can’t sort their rubbish from recycling after three years

-Rats that can swim

-Falls apart at the slightest criticism


Used condom

-Hasn’t spoken with parents in months

-Lives in their room

-“Yeah bro, I’m alright. Just tired.”

-Overcommitted, underprepared

-Rolls better cigs than anyone you know

-Cleans bong for special occasions only


Torn Red NW Bag

-Doesn’t carry their weight

-Has a famous friend and tells everyone about it

-Never, ever puts their bins out

-Haircuts as a coping mechanism

-Vegan but will eat Maccas because it’s “not real meat”

-Unironically listens to Radio 1


Discarded Lining of a Neuron Helmet

-Never lived up to their “potential”

-Entered uni bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but now just gets on the piss four times a week

-Severe Burnout Syndrome

-Has 30 Spotify playlists but only ever listens to four

-Enrolled in a Master’s, probably shouldn’t have


Scrumpy Bottle Covered in Grime

-Doing better than they look

-Corduroy fanatic

-“We’ve gotta get coffee sometime, I mean it”

-Doesn’t have a headboard

-Something needs to be shaved 

-Will make someone really happy someday


Broken Glass

-Does rich person sports

-Dime a dozen

-Has an awesome family but somehow ended up a dropkick

-Reminds you of your insecurities

-Makes people cry in town

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2021.
Posted 6:34pm Monday 26th April 2021 by Fox Meyer.