Archive

Panesar Becomes Commerce Meathead

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

England international cricketer Monty Panesar made a test appearance of a different kind by taking time out from his hectic training schedule to sit a two-hour exam at the Otago School of Business last Monday. Panesar is studying towards a Masters of Business Administration in Sport at Loughborough Read more...

Aquinas Loses Critic Privileges

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Following an attempt to separate themselves further from society, Aquinas College has been punished for hiding their weekly delivery of Critic magazines in a corner of the building’s foyer. The box of magazines, which was delivered on Monday 25 February, was shunned and hidden out of sight Read more...

OUSA To Spend App-roximately $30k

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

In a meeting held early last week, OUSA announced they are “looking at the possibility” of developing applications for iOS, Android and Windows smartphones at an estimated upper-end cost of $30,000. The app would likely include features such as “bumping” smartphones to exchange timetables, Read more...

Crazed Gunman Terrorises Wealthy Dunedin Suburb

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

At around 9pm on Wednesday 6 March, police and the Armed Offenders Squad were called out to a Tolcarne Avenue address in Maori Hill, where a man had apparently holed himself up in his house with his gun collection after a domestic incident. When Critic arrived at the property at 10pm after a Read more...

800 People Found Dead!

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

In what sounds like the plot of Tomb Raider III, a German archaeologist has uncovered a mass of unmarked graves revealing almost 800 long-decaying bodies. Dr Hans-Dieter Bader of Archaeology Solutions Ltd took to Central Otago with his fluxgate gradiometer and hand-held GPS unit to reveal the Read more...

Polytech Battles Uni for Fair Trade Glory

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Yet again, Otago Polytechnic has made a dismal attempt to compete with the University of Otago. Only a few weeks after the Uni publicised its Fair Trade Campaign to become the first fully accredited fair trade tertiary institution in New Zealand, the Polytech announced their participation. In Read more...

Every Vote Counts! (Except Abstain)

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA loves by-elections, and holds them all the time. This week they’re treating us to a delicious double-header, with both the Welfare and Postgraduate positions up for grabs. The candidates are Golda Matthias, Keir Russell and Ruby Sycamore-Smith. Golda and Ruby are duking it out for Welfare Read more...

More Details on Hyde Street Emerge

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA has provided more details on the format of this year’s Hyde Street party, with numbers likely to be capped at 3500 and ticket allocations given to residents. The decisions come after a public meeting on Monday and a stakeholders’ meeting on Wednesday. Meanwhile, the Otago Daily Times’s coverage Read more...

Ricki Herbert Can Fuck Off

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Greg Hall

Ricki Herbert quit his job last week. Herbert had been in charge of the Wellington Phoenix since 2007. In that time he had a meagre 53 wins out of 154 games, a win percentage of around 34%. The Phoenix are woeful, and have been since their inception. Now, this may seem to be bordering on slander Read more...

Ruben Wiki Rims Rowdy Fan

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by John Burton

If you weren’t aware, history was made on 23 February. This may not help you narrow down the timeframe due to the haze of O-Week. It was the Saturday night. The Warriors came to town, their first ever visit to this delightful metropolis called Dunedin, and offered up our first taste of rugby league Read more...

Test Cricket in Dunedin

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric

A three-test series in New Zealand is rarer than a five-day test against South Africa. The England series is the Black Caps’ last chance to win some glory after a whitewash of a season, with just the one (admittedly epic) victory against Sri Lanka. The first test starts in Dunedin on Wednesday, at Read more...

High School Implements Tuxedo Dress Code

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Dennis Larson

Dunedin’s own King’s High School has set up a class to teach Year 9 boys how to become gentlemen, based on a Texas course called The Gentlemen’s Society. According to the Otago Daily Times, the course will teach the boys “how to act like a sophisticated man,” including dining etiquette, how Read more...

Roots Still Not Forgotten

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Dunedin’s most famous roots band, Six60, haven’t forgotten their roots. In fact, these roots have been remembered so well, locked so tightly in Six60’s collective temporal lobes, that they have announced a show in the little old town from whence they spawned. Six60 will rise up onto the stage at Read more...

Psycho Nerd Goes on One-Man Killstreak

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron

An online gamer has tragically turned his fantasy “Guild Wars” game into a real-life “killed wars” game after losing a fantasy battle and allegedly killing his cyber rival. Police believe the attack was most likely motivated by the game the pair were playing prior to the incident. A dispute is said Read more...

ODT Invents 19 People

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Zane Pocock

The Otago Daily Times are at it again, this week falsely reporting on a meeting they didn’t attend. The gathering in question was hosted last Tuesday afternoon at OUSA’s Recreation Centre by the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA). It was a workshop designed to involve students in Read more...

O-Week Induces O-Faces

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Orientation ’13 has been hailed as one of the best yet, with this year’s batch of fizzed-up freshers much better behaved than the previous year. The week was jam-packed with successful events, including the never-tiresome Toga Party, perennial favourite Guy Cater, headlining act Macklemore & Ryan Read more...

Hyde Street's Future in Jeopardy

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Yesterday a rip opened in the space-time continuum, and Critic peered through a wormhole into the future. In this future, the 2013 Hyde Street Keg Party had been overtaken by meataxes. An influx of Christchurch bogans and the nihilism of the street’s inhabitants had wreaked havoc: people swung from Read more...

College Sports Day Occurs

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Hayden McGregor

College Sports Day 2013 was held on the Tuesday of O-Week. The new batch of freshers arrived to enjoy some friendly competition against their hall rivals, as well as impress their new friends with some deft skills in touch rugby, netball, volleyball and football. Dunedin’s unusually good summer form Read more...

Sport stops you getting fat, look it up.

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Gus Gawn

The sports pages are back for another year. One more year of denying the indie kids their ultimate goal of reserving Critic for unreadable niche comic strips, reviews of bands you never heard of and articles they plagiarised off Vice. Luckily, in 2013 we once again have an editor who loves his Read more...

OUSA Lauches Fair Trade Campaign

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA pushed its new fair trade message at Tent City on Thursday. The policy, which has been approved by the student body and the University Council, aims to bring predominantly fair trade products to the already laughably overpriced campus shelves. The smell of freshly-roasted Rwandan coffee Read more...