Archive

Popping Cherries: Virginity Horror Stories

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Stella Weston

Over the last three months I’ve been asking my friends, friends of friends, distant associates, and girls I’d met ten minutes ago in the bathroom how they lost their virginity. I was surprised at how many women were open about it and happy to yap – some with nice wholesome Read more...

The Flatmate Erotica: Within Or Without You

Posted 7:55pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Lady Jane Grey

There’s something uniquely unholy about a student flat – a place where personal growth, emotional regression, and sexual chaos all happen in the same 10-square-metre living room. You move in thinking you're just renting a room but, really, you’re signing up for a year-long Read more...

A Lesbian, Bisexual & Straight Woman Walk into a Bar

Posted 7:46pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Nina Brown

I change seating positions at least three times before Leah* and Beth* arrive for the interview. Settling into our armchairs, the three of us epitomise our stereotypes. The straight woman who has rarely cum with a man is dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, long hair in a bun. The masc lesbian who Read more...

Online Anonymous: A support group for the chronically online

Posted 5:25pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

This is an intervention. For everyone who panics about early-onset dementia every time you forget what you ate for breakfast and especially with the seasonal flip of an exam paper as the clock starts ticking. Are we remembering less and less? Is it sleep loss? TikTok? Those AI breatha reels Read more...

Choose Your Own Adventure: OUSA President Edition

Posted 5:20pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1.  You wake up, wrapped up in a duck-down comforter with that gorgeous OUSA green burned into your eyelids. It's time to take on your busy day. You leap out of bed and go down to your kitchen to pour yourself a big bowl of Weet-Bix. What do you do while you eat your meal? Open your Read more...

A Slice of Our Opinions: Pizza Reviewed

Posted 5:22pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Adam Stitely

Takeaway pizzas are a cornerstone of the “I can’t be fucked cooking” catalogue: when your parents couldn’t be fucked trying to satisfy your picky childhood palate with homecooked meals; when your boss couldn’t be fucked giving you a bonus so you got a pizza party; or Read more...

Flatmageddon: Best ways to resolve flat conflicts

Posted 4:26pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Hunter Jolly

Conflict is inevitable when you live in close quarters with other people, especially when you may have conflicting ideas about what cleanliness looks like and what acceptable sleeping patterns are. Whether tension manifests in passive-aggressive remarks about your innovative pot-soaking method, or Read more...

30 Years Strong: Te Rōpū Māori Marks a Milestone

Posted 1:05pm Monday 14th July 2025 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

Kiritea Smith, Chair of the 30th Committee – Ngāi Te Rangi, Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Pūkenga Porourangi Templeton-Reedy, Co-President of Te Rōpū Māori – Ngāti Porou, Ngāi Tūhoe, Tainui Honouring the Past, Celebrating the Present, and Read more...

I can tell you what you study based off your census answers

Posted 11:21am Monday 14th July 2025 by Nina Brown

I spent the semester break trawling through census data and am confident I can accurately guess what you study based on how you answer the following questions. If I get it wrong, it says more about whether you’re in the right degree than my powers of generalisation. 1. How’s your Read more...

You are here: An investigation into the tangled web of the queer Dunedin dating scene

Posted 5:56pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Via Hooks

Having been in ostensibly queer friend groups basically since arriving in Dunedin, I’ve observed that all of my friends (myself included) are, indeed, dating each other. But can I back this up with data?  Yes. My proposed hypothesis is the “Queer event horizon” - that Read more...

The Jorts and Jafas of Bisexuality

Posted 5:39pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Stella Weston

Jokes about Doc-wearing, threesome-having bisexual femmes are as low hanging as ragging on breathas for the mullet-moustache combo. While the copy and paste breatha look at festivals means some stereotypes often have a basis in truth, stereotypes can also be exaggerated or distorted in ways that can Read more...

criticHow To Be An Ally

Posted 4:59pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

There are many ways in which we can become better people in this society. Dunedin is an ever-expanding, diverse, and lively city full of all colours of the rainbow. Maybe you don’t think you’re one of those guys. Maybe when you're at a flat party and see a queer couple you only stare Read more...

Queer Mess?

Posted 4:55pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Madeline O’Leary

It's a bit of a running joke within my circle that my sexuality announces itself before I do. My friends often tease about how they can hear me coming before they see me. The jangle of keys on my carabiner is like a rumble of dyke thunder before lightning strikes. Pair this with my eyebrow Read more...

OUSA President Liam White Caught With His Pants Down?

Posted 11:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

There are some things we have come to expect from our OUSA presidents. Campaining on the promise of a student bar, not delivering a student bar. That's about it honestly. What we did not expect however... was this.  Sources (one suspicious email with a portfolio of equally suspicious Read more...

Red Flag Roundup

Posted 10:57pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff

I once had a guy ask me – completely deadpan – if the reason I didn’t want to date him anymore was because my parents didn’t love me enough as a child. No joke. That was his closer. And to be fair, it did close things. Safe to say, the almost-relationship ended right there, Read more...

Overheard Ōtepoti

Posted 10:12pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff

Amnesty Youth members in a Law lecture AYO member 1: “Do you think $20 for a joint is reasonable?” AYO member 2: “Yeah, I mean it sounds reasonable. It depends how big the joint is – they can get you really fucked up.” AYO member 1: “Yeah, I’ve never Read more...

We Made A Fanpage for Daniel Leamy

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

With the Tabloid Issue approaching and pitches running somewhat dry, two of Critic Te Ārohi’s most chaotic staff (us) turned to what we do best: shit-stirring. One of us writes horoscopes and the other wrote the love story of the century (Critic Bachelor). Between us, we knew exactly how Read more...

The Legacy of Martin Phillipps

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

.column { float: left; width: 33.33%; } /* Clear floats after the columns */ .row:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } “The Dunedin Sound is the sound of honesty” - Martin Phillipps It’s hard not to write about the Dunedin Sound without Read more...

Sound and Vision: Capturing Dunedin’s Music Scene

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Ellie Bennett

Sweaty, a bit drunk, and surrounded by people who look about twice my height and half my age, I’ve got a headache and my ears are buzzing. My shoes squeak every time I try to unstick them from the floor. I can just about make out the features of the lead singer but the drummer blends into the Read more...

An Inside Look at the Six60 Scholarship: Is it sick-60?

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

6 and 60. Perhaps not everyone's two favourite set of numbers, but nevertheless, undeniably iconic to anyone from Aotearoa who didn’t forget their roots. It’s generally known that this band name came from the flat on Castle Street that the four members started off in (you’ll Read more...