Archive

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Local Produce: CANDI

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Candice is a familiar voice from Radio One, but she isn’t just a DJ on the radio – as CANDI, she’s an influential music artist with an impressive track record of live shows. Only established in Re: Ori ‘22, CANDI has quickly become a prominent fixture in the electronic scene, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Booze Review: Kirin Hyoketsu Lemon

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Sippy Bill Swilliams

Students return to their shitboxes, locals complain on Facebook, the annual tradition of Flo and O lives on. A fortnight of alcohol and substance ridden debauchery – an alcohol company’s wet dream.  The only thing consumed more than piss in these two weeks of degeneracy is the Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Editorial: Get Into It, Yuh

Posted 11:32am Sunday 18th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To many reading this: welcome back, suckers. To the freshers who have gone back and collected old issues of Critic Te Ārohi once you realised it exists, is free, and is the best thing you’ll ever read: kia ora, I’m glad you made it. Here’s a wee introduction. Critic Te Read more...

Crossword Answers Issue 26

Posted 3:19pm Thursday 12th October 2023 by Critic

No spoilers! If you're looking for the answers from our final issue, they're right here.   Crossword 1: ACROSS: 2. TOAD 4. SLOB 7. MENU 8. ISH 9. ALOE 10. IBIS 12. AZUL 14. WHITE 15. FLAKE 17. IGOR 18. ALOO 19. MAN 21. LENNON 23. TINSEL 24. MOBILE 26. OBLONG 28. BLT 30. NEVE Read more...

BOOZE REVIEW: Just Booze

Posted 11:47am Monday 9th October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Shoutout Noisy. Shoutout ADJØ. Shoutout Albar.   New Zealand needs to change the way we drink. We drink excessive amounts of alcohol and know no weekend tradition other than binge drinking. This behaviour is extremely dangerous, and it’s projected that if we continue drinking Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Local Produce: - Fool of Stars

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Formed in 2020, Fool of Stars started out as a high school dream pop band. The current line up, Olive Ward (guitar/vocals), Max White (drums), and Jacob Smith (organ), came together to enter Bring the Noise in 2022. Following a warm reception from friends and strangers, they decided to record their Read more...

Local Produce - No Danger

Posted 12:40pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Get your hard hats and your high-vis vests on. For a hazard-free gig, you can count on No Danger: an eclectic six-piece band that play sets with covers ranging from Black Sabbath to the Spice Girls, alongside their own originals, one of which they’re planning to officially release soon. Critic Read more...

Moaningful: Shark Tale

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

As an avid Moaningful Confessions reader, I have been recently disappointed with the lack of jaw-dropping, juicy stories, so against my better judgement, I have sacrificed the last shred of my dignity to provide the worst, most entertaining of sex stories.   To set the scene, I had just Read more...

Takeaways: Week 26

Posted 12:17pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Tom Sandoval’s apology video on YouTube   A raw, emotional, genuine display of social media in the golden era of the early 2010s. If your birth year ends later than 00, consider yourself lucky that your tween fantasies Read more...

Chargrills: Feta, Spinach and Lemon Stuffed Chicken Bake

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And all of a sudden, we’re at the last recipe. It's been good team, thanks for looking at the pictures and never trying a recipe! It's not too late though, try this. You'll like it.    CHICKEN 2 chicken breasts  ⅓ block feta  ¼ cup Read more...

Takeaways: Week 25

Posted 11:24am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch:   Lady Gaga’s 2009 VMA performance   Lady Gaga pretty much debuted to the world with this performance of Paparazzi, which, if you can find it, is like a piece of pop music history. The only good recording I know of is still pretty Read more...

An open letter to anyone that just got initiated:

Posted 11:09am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

To the first years that just got initiated, I’m glad you’re all alive. I know it wasn’t the “worst thing ever”, and I bet you’ve got a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you just did really wasn’t all that glorious. I know that it ended in Read more...

Moaningful: Kia ora Critic Te Ārohi and its readers.

Posted 11:06am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Last week, you published a survey and fell back on the old trope that Computer Science students don't get laid enough.   Think about that one for a moment. Who made Tinder? Who tweaks the algorithms that set you up with your matches? Who out there knows your browser history? Have you Read more...

Local Produce: Exhuming our history

Posted 11:04am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Nina Brown

The Southern Cemeteries Archaeology Project is a colonial bioarchaeology research project. It’s run by a multidisciplinary team of researchers led by the Department of Anatomy at the University of Otago.    In the first research-driven work done into colonial New Zealand, their Read more...