Lucky in Love | Toyota Hilux & Mitsubishi Lancer

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Bog Irish Bar, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email: critic@critic.co.nz   Toyota Hilux I never wanted to sign up for this, but I eventually gave in to the constant Read more...

Sage Advice | Fuck! To Political Allegories and Fuck! To McDonald’s / Goodbye Forever

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“Many people have strong views on McDonald’s.” - Steve Easterbrook, CEO of McDonald’s Well, folks. It’s been a rollercoaster. Bringing you advice these past months has been a blast. We’ve had some hits, and more than a few stinkers. We’ve laughed, Read more...

Science Tank | Jet Debt

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Jet lag arises due to a disturbance of your body’s internal clock, which drives your circadian rhythms. Known as the suprachiasmatic nucleus, this ‘master clock’ processes light information from your retinas and tells the pineal gland what’s happening, so that it can Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Water

Posted 11:00am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

5/5 Things that wouldn’t exist without water: Umbrellas, plumbing, teapots, straws, flippers, periscopes, gutters, islands, sprinklers, water slides, urinals, water fights, water balloons, lifeguards, beaches, icebergs, flippers, saunas, aqueducts, washing powder, surf boards, ice Read more...

Sage Advice | Exams: A Journey into Hades, Examined by the Beast

Posted 12:07pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“How very little can be done under the spirit of fear.” - Florence Nightingale   This question comes from a loyal reader: “I’m shitting bricks about exams. What are some tips on how to do well in an exam?” Thank you for the question. There is an old saying Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Could Tu-Not?

Posted 12:24pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethel and Hyde, There’s this guy who eats tuna in the main library every day I am studying in there. It stinks and really distracts me from studying. I can’t stand it! Library studier   Ethel says The library works hard to provide an environment which is Read more...

Tui Is The Worst Beer in New Zealand

Posted 12:35pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Tui is a scourge upon our entire society. Fuck Tui. It looks and tastes like Speight’s with a little bit of poo mixed in. It’s exactly the same as every other generic NZ Draught style beer, but somehow manages to be worse. On the nose, I detect subtle notes of wet dog and semen. It Read more...

The Hell Hole | The Nightmare

Posted 12:47pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Joel MacManus

I joined the Young Nats to stop this nightmare. I waved placards at cars, I knocked on doors, I spammed my friends on Facebook until they all blocked me. It wasn’t enough. The day after the election, Dear Leader Jacinda took her oath of office. The red curtain fell. Taxes were raised to Read more...

Lucky in Love | Beverley & Stuttering Bill

Posted 12:57pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Lovebirds

Beverley The night began encouragingly with my friends telling me that my hair in the wind made me look like Pennywise from It. On that note, they dropped me off at the Bog. I walked in and started chatting to the bar staff, discovering they have seen many an interesting night go down. Hoping my Read more...

Science Tank | Hear, Hear

Posted 1:07pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As someone who hosts a weekly radio show, I was initially excited at the prospect of hearing my own voice in recording. I thought I was a pretty amazing radio presenter and that I sounded like milk, honey and cocaine all in one. Boy, how jarring it was to hear my screechy bagpipe of a wheeze Read more...