Inventions Out of Time | Water


Things that wouldn’t exist without water:

Umbrellas, plumbing, teapots, straws, flippers, periscopes, gutters, islands, sprinklers, water slides, urinals, water fights, water balloons, lifeguards, beaches, icebergs, flippers, saunas, aqueducts, washing powder, surf boards, ice skates, snowflakes, oases, wells, dams, septic tanks, breast-feeding, hoses, taps, canals, gondolas, wharves, aquariums, fishing rods, mist, instant potatoes, water blasting, coffee machines, wet t-shirt competitions, dams, showerheads, water wheels, water boarding, flash floods, icicles, stalagmites, river stones, urine stains, water lilies, lifeboats, life jackets, dark and stormy nights, the little castles in fish tanks, windscreen wipers, waves, torpedos, the floatation bladders deep sea fish have, snowmobiles, wet weather gear, bongs, diarrhea, rose water, baptism, the death of Ophelia, tidal waves, Poseidon, sea snakes, underwater-themed parties, the expression “waterlogged”, the expression “like a fish out of water”, holy water, the song It’s Raining Men, the bands Aqua and Wet Wet Wet, lighthouses, blow holes, mud flaps, towels, amphibians, hair dryers, water features, water rats, open sewers, salad spinners, pirates, wash cloths, moats, drawbridges, the parting of the red sea, Noah’s Ark, decoy ducks, soap, mouldy flats, lube (water based), osmosis, synchronised swimming, snow globes, eye drops, foot spas, bridges, steam engines, float tanks, sea monsters, taniwhas, coxes, bidets, leaky home syndrome, hydrophobia, pool parties, merfolk, Bob Marley baths, bath farts, splashback, high tea, marbled wallpaper, tridents, harpoon guns, fish (except for flying fish), the Holy Grail, soup spoons, poop decks, Botticelli's Venus, the Deep Sea Scrolls, beach balls, sand castles, troughs, dew, dehumidifiers, water clocks, waterproof makeup, togs, kelp, fire hydrants, plugs (you could still have a butt plug though), spirit levels, hot water bottles, the primordial soup, rudders, wishing wells, spittoons.

This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2017.
Posted 11:00am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin.