Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 8

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Holy fucking shit this stuff is a gamechanger. Banrock Station has taken some mediocre rose, mixed it with delicious juice and a whole bunch of sugar and produced the most scullable wine product on the market (seriously, the label says ‘wine product’, as if they can’t legally call Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 8

Posted 2:40pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Student Support

Hi, I got a cold a few weeks ago and it won’t go away. Just when I think it is getting better it comes back again. The doctor told me it might be because of the mould in my house, which started growing after that big hailstorm at the start of semester. Is there anything I can do about the Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 8

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Latest method of curing baldness, and preventing hair from falling out The causes of baldness are plain: excessive action of the brain, such as intense study, great mental anxiety, etc., producing unnatural heat of the brain-surfaces, thus causing the hair to drop off.  People are often Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 7

Posted 11:57am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Perpetually stuck for content, the ODT has sunk to reporting on people just continuing to exist   Over the coming years they intend to gradually report on everyone else who also continues to exist. The initiative is predicted to go down well in Patearoa, where the majority of residents Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 7

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Apart from disease, sleeplessness may arise from an overloaded stomach, over-excitement, or cold feet. Treatment - How to sleep is to many persons a matter of high importance. Nervous persons, who are troubled with wakefulness, usually have a strong tendency of blood to the brain, with cold Read more...

Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 7

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Kirio Birks

A new study by a team of international researchers claims that approximately 50 percent of PhD students suffer from mental health problems, ranging from chronic anxiety to clinical depression. This seems to be news to just about everybody except for postgrads. Even the new kids on the block are Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 7

Posted 1:31pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Flat Earthers believe that the world is flat, not spherical, and that the entirety of the scientific community, NASA, and the Government are hiding the truth. Yes, I know it seems ridiculous, but people all around the globe really believe this. However, maybe we’re being biased. Let’s Read more...

David Clark | Issue 7

Posted 11:17am Sunday 9th April 2017 by David Clark

The river most important to you is probably your local one. You may have grown up swimming in it, or you may have enjoyed a cheeky spot of fishing there. For Māori, awa form an important part of cultural heritage – they sustain communities.  As Kiwis, I believe it is our birth Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 7

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

If You’re Looking to Get Fucked up and Start a Fight with a Lamppost, Billy Mavs Are the Way to Go.

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

If that douchebag that dropped out of your high school in year 11, wears a Monster Energy trucker cap everywhere, has ‘tribal’ tattoos despite being whiter than John Key in a snowstorm, and whose Facebook profile picture is a lowered Hilux, were an alcoholic drink, he would be a Billy Read more...