Critical Tribune: Breatha Raises Hand in Class

Posted 1:29pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Dildo Connor

Second year breatha, Shooda Sckipt, was sat in his Tuesday morning lecture last week. Talking to Critical Tribune reporters, Shooda recounted that he had “surprisingly mustered up the courage” to make it to a lecture for a class that had an upcoming midterm assignment – no small Read more...

Critical Tribune: Hyde Street Party 2026 Flat Themes Unveiled

Posted 4:09pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Dyldo Connor

As Otago students return from mid-sem break, speculation from the shitposters of the Castle26 Facebook group has been at an all time high. Critical Tribune is here to put the rumors to bed and confirm the official Hyde Street Party flat themes. Critical Tribune investigative journalists spoke to Read more...

Critical Tribune: STI Rates Plummet in North D as Castle Clears Out for Exams

Posted 2:24pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Mary Fartin Benz

Reports from frightened freshers have highlighted the concerning increase in Butter hats and Birks across Central Library’s floors. “I didn’t know they knew where campus was!” said Tim, a first-year and future breatha from Studholme, telling Critical Tribune he’s Read more...

Critical Tribune: Fresher Gets Quick Lesson In Tenancy Law After Falling Out With Friend Group They Signed With In January

Posted 10:59pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Anna Marrs

Critical Tribune has received several news tips over the past couple of weeks complaining about the “absolute state” of tenancy law. Turns out, signing a contract with your mates halfway through first sem isn’t a committed display of the fact you’ll love each other forever, Read more...

Critical Tribune: University declares state of emergency as brainrot spreads across campus

Posted 11:01pm Sunday 28th September 2025 by Gear Sloppit

The University of Ota-goon has announced an Official State of Emergency after a “catastrophic outbreak” of brainrot left hundreds of students unable to form original sentences, instead communicating exclusively through TikTok sounds and vintage Tumblr quotes. In a press conference Read more...

Critical Tribune: Breather attends a lecture in person and discovers he really likes it

Posted 5:20pm Sunday 7th September 2025 by Matt Hilda

“I didn’t really know what the bros were up to during the day,” Zack admitted. “They were always off to go see David, or Burns. Even when they said they were at Castle 2, I went over to the flat on Leith and the boys just told me to fuck off. I felt a bit left Read more...

Critical Tribune: The Most Insufferable Person You Know Becomes LinkedIn Influencer

Posted 10:29pm Sunday 24th August 2025 by Anderson Coomer

The sound of students audibly sighing across Dunedin last week was recorded as a magnitude of 1.9. This disturbance comes after the most insufferable person you know is now a LinkedIn influencer. Sora Noying, a fifth-year law and politics student, who is more commonly known amongst acquaintances as Read more...

Critical Tribune: LEAKED! OIA Reveals Otago is Legally Obligated to Hire Unelected Politicians

Posted 9:59pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Emails released under the Official Information Act (OIA) have revealed that the University of Otago has entered into a legally binding agreement with the Labour Party to hire politicians that don’t get elected.  The official document stated that the University was required to Read more...

Activist Rodent Learns What Neoliberalism Means

Posted 4:45pm Tuesday 13th May 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Thousands of people in the Southern Region were left without internet access on Wednesday 16 April following an incident of a rodent chewing through a fibre cable after being radicalised into an anarcho-primitivist agenda through a mix of “hot Leninist goths” and “Into the Wild Read more...

Critical Tribune: Many upset after Critic says, “Well, you’re not invited to my birthday party”

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Billary Harry

Within the past months many readers, staff, University affiliates, and OUSA, have been excited about Critic turning 100 years old, as well as the party that would come along with it.  Editor Nina had been overheard saying there would be “super cute party games” like pass the Read more...