Critical Tribune has received several news tips over the past couple of weeks complaining about the “absolute state” of tenancy law. Turns out, signing a contract with your mates halfway through first sem isn’t a committed display of the fact you’ll love each other forever, but rather a legally binding agreement.
“I just think it’s bullshit,” one first-year, Taika, told Critical Tribune in reference to the fact that their landlord wasn’t so understanding of the fact that one of Taika’s (ex)friend’s, Emily, had recently “shafted the fuck out of [her].” According to Taika, Emily had raxxed her situationship straight out of her Snapchat best friend’s list. “I mean, who does that? And now I’m stuck in a tenancy with her for like the whole of 2027.” Freja, Taika’s new best friend, said that Emily was “completely morally wrong” and reckoned that should be enough to “break the binds of the black letter law.”
When approached for comment via phonecall, Taika’s prospective landlord Melanie Dodger replied that “moral failures” were, in fact, not enough to squeak your way out of a tenancy. “I always say to the groups of girls that decide that they wanna sign a flat right off the back of being separated from their families and drinking copious amounts of alcohol for the first time that it’s counselling they need, not a tenancy.” Melanie proceeded to cough so hard into the phone that Critical Tribune swears black-tar-esque phlegm got stuck to our cheek.