Ever wanted to stage, (and then lose), a poorly-thought-out war on plants? Ever wanted to spend millions of taxpayer dollars on a publicity stunt that leads absolutely nowhere? Ever wanted to disenfranchise an entire swath of the population at the drop of a hat? Well, then this is the quiz for you. Go ahead and use this nonsensical tool to generate a bogus slogan to brainwash the next generation of good, Christian minds. We can’t have them smoking that lightning lettuce, after all. We all know that only leads to sin.
Format for your slogan: Y'know, smoking that [1] [2] will [3].
Pick an animal:
Fennec Fox: Devil’s
Jellyfish: Wacky
Gecko: Green
Flamingo: Dank
Tapeworm: Party
Pangolin: Electric
Tapir: Jazz
Rhino: Evil
Star-nosed mole: Skunky
Bumblebee: Lightning
Pick a hat to wear:
Fedora: Grass
Piss-stained bucket hat: Cabbage
A very French beret: Lettuce
Abe Lincoln's blood-splattered top hat: Ganja
Bedazzled snapback: Tree
Stinky pirate trifold: Weed
Krusty Krab Official Employee Uniform hat: Dankety dank
Pick a show to binge while stoned:
Love Island: Ruin your life
Community: Make your girlfriend run off with your best mate
One Piece: Make you infertile
Euphoria: Give you retrograde amnesia
Adventure Time: Make everyone hate you
Planet Earth II: Make your toes fall off
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Let the gays win the war
Gilmore Girls: Make you want to fuck your mother
Bob’s Burgers: Make you hate Jesus
Making a Murderer: Turn the fucking frogs gay
Bojack Horseman - Give you AIDS
Arcane: Make your voice really high, like, Alvin & the Chipmunks high
Taskmaster NZ: Make you drop out of Uni and become a rabid socialist
Staring at the Chromecast and waiting for the pictures to change: Lead to crack