What's your NewstalkZB headline?

What's your NewstalkZB headline?

Favourite colour + star sign + second letter of first name + fashion decade = headline


Your Favourite Colour

Red - ‘Outrageous’:

Orange - BREAKING:

Yellow - Kate Hawkesby:

Blue - Opinion:

Green - ‘About time’:

Purple - Heather du Plessis-Allan:

Pink - ‘How dare they’:

Black - Mike Hosking:

Other - Bold plans:


Your Star Sign

Aries - The never-ending deluge of

Taurus - The hidden threat of

Gemini - Underhanded tactics that led to

Cancer - Left-wing

Leo - Imports of

Virgo - Government-mandated

Libra - Short-sighted

Scorpio - Government policy that gives funding to

Sagittarius - Hypocritical

Capricorn - MoE curriculum that teaches kids about

Aquarius – Airtime given to

Pisces - Elitist


The Second Letter in Your First Name

A - Union representative

B – Students’ association

C - The next Level 4 lockdown

D - Sex-crazed high school

E - The Prime Minister

F - Reports of racism in NZ’s health system

G - Protestors

H - Healthy homes standards

I - Rising gas prices

J - Vape juices

K - Free will

L - Vegan ‘milkshakes’

M - Social justice warrior

N - Taxes

O - Cancel culture

P - Minimum wage requirements

Q - Funding for the arts

R - Covid modelling

S - Green MP’s Twitter account

T - Five-year-old

U - Assaults on police officers

V - Unskilled workers

W - Socialist history teacher

X - All Blacks star

Y - Wellington band

Z - Documentary series


What decade does your fashion sense come from?

Pre-1960s – Shows cancel culture has gone too far

’60s - Presents problems for NZ’s Covid recovery

’70s - Causes business confidence to plummet

80s - Gets grilled in online clash

’90s - Erodes our democracy

’00s - Shouldn’t be funded by the taxpayer

Now - Lambasted by small business owners

This article first appeared in Issue 26, 2021.
Posted 2:41pm Sunday 10th October 2021 by Critic.