Gaydar is a magical thing. It gives us queer folk the ability to pick up on little hints and clues that can guide our flirtatious approach, and since the 1940s and 1950s fashion has been one of the best ways to sense someone’s queerness. Docs, work wear, chunky rings, and suits were some of the wardrobe staples that queer women used to signify they’re down for flamboyant freakiness. Not only were these fashion statements vital in sending signals to the gaydar, but they were also vital for the growth of queer culture at a time when homophobia was rampant, police brutality was high, and being gay was a crime. As much as the gaydar was a way of navigating romance, it was also a survival tactic.
Fast forward to today, and it seems that many ladies are embracing these queer-coded styles as well as dressing in more gender non-conforming clothes, which has its roots in the butch/femme dynamic. I’m sure the pioneers of queer fashion are proud of this, and so am I, but you have to respect the communities who did it first and have been owning it for eternity. These “trends” have been celebrated and used to display membership in a community that has been marginalised for a long-ass time, and now it is becoming removed from sexual identity and put in the fast fashion trend cycle. I know most women wouldn’t put on a pair of pants and wonder, “What is the history of these?”, ‘cos that’s a little nutty, but a lot of gay women fought hard to get to the point where we are now, so wear them with pride. “Looking gay” or “dressing gay” may not be an insult or a threat anymore, but it was for a long time. Don’t forget it.
This is by no means a dig at the straight ladies – y’all are out here looking HOT and being cool. It is just an observation of subcultures starting out fringe, and then fringe becoming mainstream. This happens with all things fashion, all things trendy, and all things cool, and there (hopefully) isn’t anything malicious about it from straight girls. Generally, it's just something that isn’t considered. A lot of this is actually coming from a place of anti-homophobia: there are a lot more queer fashion icons able to be visibly queer, and both straight girlies and gay girlies are taking inspiration. However, there is one small problem with the straight girlies embracing queer-coded fashion: it’s fucking with my gaydar.
The queer community has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to fashion. We’re not afraid to stand out, but with the cyclic nature of trends speeding up, mainstream fashion is catching up with us. The oversized blazers and low rise jeans on the Glassons racks now emulate the queer fashion seen in the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘90s. This shows an epic acceptance of gender fluidity in today’s society, but cutting out the queer has really screwed over the science behind the gaydar. Modern queer signalling has been little things like carabiners on keys, high socks, cuffed or baggy jeans, or jorts; the list goes on. But now that all of these styles have been embraced by the straight girlies, how do I know who to hit on?
You may be thinking, “Uhh, just ask?”, but it is still sometimes a scary space being queer, especially when it comes to navigating the world of dating. You want to be pretty certain that the person you’re about to hit on is going to be into it, as does anyone. I understand that this is a risk in all dating, sometimes people just don’t click, but to not even know if the person is into you on a biological level? Now that is outright terrifying. Not to mention the pop-culture trope of predatory queerness. No one wants to make anyone uncomfortable, and no one, especially queer people, want to be labelled as a creep for simply approaching a person of interest in a not-straight manner. Even if 9 times out of 10 someone will simply say, “Sorry, I just don’t swing that way,” the slight chance of being ridiculed or worse literally plagues my nightmares. And this is why I rely on gaydar.
While I love to see women out here embracing wearing whatever the fuck they want, this movement of queer-coded clothing becoming popular has done a number on my gaydar’s ability. The days of reliable gaydar for women are slowly fading. Please let us gatekeep some things: maybe carabiners? Pinky rings? We’ve lost the war on baggy jeans, but maybe jorts? As Marlene Dietrich said, “I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men.” At the end of the day dress how you want, and do it with pride. But if you’re dressing with the gay swag, don’t blame me if I hit on you.