Bouncing off the Halls | Issue 12
We’ll now revisit Salmond College, which by all accounts is a goldmine of weird and wonderful tales of fresher romance. It is well known that at every hall, a small, exclusive group of students arrives well before O-Week. These students often form tight-knit friendships in this fleeting moment of calm and clarity before the degrading spectacle of Orientation. At Salmond, one of these friendships was soon taken to the next level, with a covenant established between two members of the college – a health science student with a knack for study, and a voluptuous young lady. In exchange for regular intercourse with the girl in question, the young man has promised to supply her with study notes, as well as to purchase and deliver whatever consumables she pleases from Gardens New World. The most compelling condition of this agreement, however, is the young woman’s main condition that the other party satisfies whatever depraved sexual urges she has in exchange for her full cooperation with the contract. As far as Critic is aware, this agreement is still in effect.