Archive

Execrable - 24

Posted 5:05am Monday 19th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The Exec meeting was short on numbers last week, and struggled mightily to make quorum. This problem was compounded when it was revealed that Ariana was on call for duty at Selwyn, so if some type of crazy situation went down at that particular College then the meeting was all off. Upon Read more...

Pig killed in North Dunedin. South Dunedinites mourn loss of relative.

Posted 5:03am Monday 19th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

A group of unassuming scarfies were the victims of an unfortunate piece of malicious littering on Sunday September 11, after they discovered a deceased pig in their wheelie bin in the early hours of the morning. The group had enjoyed a pleasant night out in town after watching the England vs Read more...

Marketing is the new Tourism

Posted 5:00am Monday 19th September 2011 by Staff Reporter

A rogue student caused widespread panic in a second year marketing paper after sending an email on Blackboard to every student in the paper asking if they could join a group for an assignment that hadn’t even been set yet. The first email, sent on September 8, set off waves of panic Read more...

NORML fails to make Joyce's list

Posted 4:58am Monday 19th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Student leaders are alarmed at the Government's latest attempt to cripple students' association, as Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce released draft directions on Student Services Levies last week.   Joyce has composed a list that dictates what services institutions can spend Read more...

NORML fails to make Joyce's list

Posted 4:54am Monday 19th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Student leaders are alarmed at the Government's latest attempt to cripple students' association, as Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce released draft directions on Student Services Levies last week. Joyce has composed a list that dictates what services institutions can spend student Read more...

Mayor proud of his big black cock

Posted 4:48am Monday 19th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

Dunedin Mayor Dave Cull is “pretty proud” to have a gigantic black phallic object protruding from the Octagon. The ‘artwork’ piece titled ‘The Haka Peep Show’ is a large black pou (post or pillar) that contains 3D videos featuring four haka performed by prominent Maori Read more...

Campus dry. Scarfies cry.

Posted 4:46am Monday 19th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The University of Otago is imposing a campus-wide alcohol ban for the Rugby World Cup, and it looks likely to continue once the tournament ends. At a meeting last week, the University Council unanimously adopted Vice-Chancellor Harlene Hayne’s recommendation that an “Alcohol on Read more...

Undy 500 violence spreads to the capital

Posted 4:42am Monday 19th September 2011 by Gregor Whyte

Victoria University of Wellington was the scene of significant unrest last Wednesday September 14, as students carrying out a peaceful protest against cuts to academic departments clashed with University security services. Students marched on the University’s Hunter Building to Read more...

Hone Harawira

Posted 3:27am Monday 12th September 2011 by Critic

Hone Harawira is all about triple constructions. Vini, vidi, vici; I came, I saw, I conquered, and so on. One suspects, however, he has taken his cue just as much from his mother, Muhammed Ali and Syd Jackson as from Julius Caesar. When Harawira got on the stage in front of the audience for Read more...

Polytech member slams student butts

Posted 3:22am Monday 12th September 2011 by Gregor Whyte

An Otago Polytechnic lecturer has slammed students for littering cigarette butts on the streets outside the institution, saying that inconsiderate smokers "make it look like a British council estate".   Speaking to the ODT, design department staff member Simon Swale despaired of Read more...

Joyce up to his usual tricks.

Posted 3:19am Monday 12th September 2011 by Stella Blake-Kelly

Students may be left without essential student services under a proposal from Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce. The objective of the proposal is to establish a framework for how compulsory fees and student services are administered by universities. This framework aims to create Read more...

Rugby fans invade Dunedin. Everybody glad the Germans don’t play the game.

Posted 3:18am Monday 12th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

Rugby World Cup fever is set to hit North Dunedin over the coming weeks, as the city plays host to several teams, including Argentina, Georgia, Romania, Ireland and Italy.     The highly ranked English team also appear to be spending some of their time/money in Dunedin, Read more...

ODT: playing pokies not solid idea for student summer job

Posted 3:14am Monday 12th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

The Otago Daily Times ran another groundbreaking article last week, revealing to the world at large that gambling on the pokies is not a great way to make money. The article focused on ‘Tony’, former University of Otago BCom student, who lost “thousands” playing the pokies while a student. Read more...

Vote Chat: Annette King

Posted 3:12am Monday 12th September 2011 by Joe Stockman

Politics lecturer Bryce Edwards continues his weekly chats with New Zealand politicians each Friday at Noon. Last week, Labour Party deputy leader Annette King talked to Edwards about her political past, atheism, and the threat from the big bad National Party and their cheesy-grinned leader. Read more...

Execrable - 23

Posted 3:10am Monday 12th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Critic suspected we were in for a long meeting when we looked around the boardroom and saw three of OUSA’s constitutional gurus in attendance. Depressingly we weren’t wrong. The three musketeers had all come along to talk to the Exec about the broke-as-fuck Constitution, and the amendments Read more...

Cronicles of Castle - 23

Posted 3:08am Monday 12th September 2011 by Sam Reynolds

Not much has been happening in the ‘hood, most people cruised home for the break or headed to Wanaka and Queenstown to ‘carve up the fresh’, leaving me with some looney fence tagging and the odd story to share with you. Addiction has become a prevalent problem up and down the street; Read more...

Robber run ragged by rapacious redhead

Posted 3:06am Monday 12th September 2011 by Teuila Fuatai

Two University of Otago students managed to chase down a burglar whilst dressed in their slippers, after the man tried to take three iPods from their Dundas St flat. The ODT reported that students Kathryn Kennedy and Emily Reynolds became aware of the intruder after hearing loud noises Read more...

VSM, HAPPENING FO’ REAL

Posted 3:05am Monday 12th September 2011 by Staff Reporter

The Voluntary Student Membership bill, or VSM as it’s colloquially known, completed the Committee of the House stage through Parliament last Wednesday September 7. No amendments to the Bill were accepted, including amendments by Labour MPs to add more clauses to the Bill. In a last Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls - 23

Posted 3:03am Monday 12th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

 Sex is a fascinating topic. According to everyone’s old mate Darwin, sex is the sole purpose of our existence, and nowhere is this truer than the colleges of the University of Otago. At Otago the usual courting process involves twenty alcoholic drinks followed by a vast array of Read more...

Dominos Without Plan For Road Closures.

Posted 5:20am Monday 5th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

Stoners Panic. Not content with making blatantly untrue statements like “RWC 2011 is the third largest sporting event in the world”, the Dunedin City Council (DCC) have also decided that scarfies having access to their hovels during the Rugby World Cup is of little importance, and Read more...

Rich Students Go Play in Expensive Snow

Posted 5:17am Monday 5th September 2011 by Lozz Holding

Poor Students freeze in Dunedin Hovels   Over 100 University of Otago snow-bunnies flocked to the slopes of Wanaka last week to take part in the 2011 University Winter Games.  The week-long event provided the brightly-coloured boarders and skiers with an opportunity to get their Read more...

Calvert Turns to Bridget Jones's Diary and Tub of Ice Cream

Posted 5:15am Monday 5th September 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Local ACT Party MP Hilary Calvert has been dumped from the party list for November’s election, less than a year after entering Parliament.  Calvert is notably absent from the list of candidates released by the party. There are conflicting accounts surrounding the reasons for Read more...

National MP Grows a Heart

Posted 5:14am Monday 5th September 2011 by Julia Hollingsworth

Blossoming romance with Green Party to follow A local National Party MP has spoken out against lignite mining, a stance that controversially runs against the National party line.  At a Generation Zero panel discussion held before mid-semester break, National MP Michael Woodhouse was Read more...

Woman's skull not crushed in perfectly safe Dunedin shopping mall.

Posted 5:11am Monday 5th September 2011 by Gregor Whyte

  A woman was not even slightly injured after not being hit by falling fibre dust at popular Dunedin shopping mall The Meridian, despite receiving what a witness described as a “negligible sized piece of plastic on her table”. Critic’s journalistic panties were Read more...

Tidy Boxes Better than Messy Boxes

Posted 4:29am Monday 5th September 2011 by Gregor Whyte

  The one-week trial of the ‘Free Box’, pioneered by OUSA Communications and Colleges Representative Francisco Hernandez, was judged an overwhelming success by OUSA Communications and Colleges Representative Francisco Hernandez. Hernandez told Critic that the box was Read more...

Execrable - 21

Posted 11:47pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The meeting highlight for Critic this week was the discussion surrounding Francisco’s plan for a “Free Box.” Currently the only free box to be had on campus is generally found in the Monkey Bar after a UniCol college pissup, but Francisco means to change this with his new endeavour. His Read more...

Harlene’s first day at school

Posted 11:45pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Staff Reporter

Professor Harlene Hayne took over the Vice-Chancellor position last Monday, after a two week period during which the University had no official Vice-Chancellor. The first female Vice Chancellor in the University’s 142-year history, Hayne replaces Sir Professor David Skegg, who spent Read more...

Revolutionary Idea: Free Shit

Posted 11:44pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Gregor Whyte

OUSA is running a one-week trial of a new ‘Freebox’ service this week. Students drop off items they no longer need outside the OUSA Main Office, and other students will then be able to grab themselves useful stuff for free. The initiative is the brainchild of OUSA Colleges and Communications Read more...

Vote Chat: The Incredibly Dry Mr Parker

Posted 11:42pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Joe Stockman

Leading into the November election, politics lecturer Bryce Edwards is hosting New Zealand politicians each Friday at Noon. Last Friday, Labour’s number four, David Parker, took on Politics postgrads, Ashley Murchison and Josh Hercus, in a PowerPoint battle royale over NZ’s debt, taking on Don Read more...

Proctology - 21

Posted 11:40pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The snow hadn’t been causing the Proctor too much trouble when Critic spoke to him, and he had even been deploying Campus Watch in a truck to drive people home safely. Critic immediately formed a completely inaccurate mental image of a pickup truck doing burnouts through the snow with bogan Castle Read more...

Fuck rugby, this is what the real Scarfies are excited about.

Posted 4:51am Monday 15th August 2011 by Lozz Holding

Now that the first shit rugby game is out of the way, Critic has started salivating about this year’s big event at the Forsyth Barr Stadium: the Elton John concert. This concert will showcase the stadium’s potential as a year-round venue, Dunedin’s new addition being the country’s only fully covered Read more...

PM visit prevents some Tourism students from sleeping till midday. Bastard.

Posted 4:50am Monday 15th August 2011 by Lozz Holding

Hungover student ghetto residents were robbed of any chance of a midday lie-in on Friday August 5, as chanting protestors collected outside the newly refurbished Robertson Library to express their opposition to the VSM bill. The protest was organised in less than 48 hours by OUSA, and high Read more...

Execrable - 20

Posted 4:48am Monday 15th August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

This week’s Exec meeting consisted mostly of the Exec doing really boring shit while Critic sat huddled in the corner, trying to work out at what point life had gone so badly wrong that we were forced to report on these idiots in order to be able to buy food. Pretty standard meeting then. In Read more...

Hardcore journalism: Critic runs over drunk reporter to prove ODT right.

Posted 4:47am Monday 15th August 2011 by Staff Reporter

The Otago Daily Times has written an impassioned piece decrying the dangers of students jaywalking across Cumberland St. The article, published in the ODT last Monday, extensively covered a complaint by a (presumably elderly) member of the public that students crossing Cumberland St while the Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls - 20

Posted 4:45am Monday 15th August 2011 by Lozz Holding

A pleasant and arousing facet of the first year hall scene is the well-established rivalry between certain colleges. Everyone with a cerebellum still intact is aware of the notable ongoing hatred between the stuck-up Selwynites and the possibly deviant Knoxians. Then there are the less established Read more...

Vote Chat: Tree-Loving Ms Turei

Posted 4:42am Monday 15th August 2011 by Joe Stockman

Leading into the November election, politics lecturer Bryce Edwards is hosting New Zealand politicians each Friday at Noon. Last Friday Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei took on politics students Niki Lomax and Finn O’Dwyer-Cunliffe to discuss getting kids out of poverty, getting adults their Read more...

Selwyn and Knox lads get down and dirty together. Hot.

Posted 4:40am Monday 15th August 2011 by Joe Stockman

The new Forsyth Barr Stadium opened on Friday August 5 with a dawn ceremony led by Ngai Tahu and attended by Prime Minister John Key. Following a delicious breakfast of muffins and cheese rolls, Selwyn and Knox Colleges took to the field for the stadium’s inaugural rugby game. Battling for the Read more...

Act on Campus vs Edgar Part 2

Posted 4:23am Monday 15th August 2011 by Showdown at the Storm-in-a-Teapot Corral

As reported in last week’s Critic, OUSA President Logan Edgar has landed himself in hot water over derogatory comments on the Facebook page of ACT MP Sir Roger Douglas. ACT on Campus called for Edgar’s resignation over the incident, a proposition that received piss-poor support in a highly Read more...

Chronicles of Castle - 20

Posted 4:20am Monday 15th August 2011 by Sam Reynolds

It’s not all happy families on Castle Street. And surprisingly the bad moods are not because of the Kronic ban, the dramas are being caused by a problem that is normally most troublesome in first year. Like drugs, flats for next year are being sussed on the low key. With dodgy dealing going down Read more...

GROWING SOME WEED IN DA BUSH. LOL. WEED.

Posted 4:18am Monday 15th August 2011 by Staff Reporter

Students for Environmental Action (SEA), the 2009 OUSA Society of the Year, have managed to wrangle a piece of land from the University to create Otago University’s first community garden, inspired by the community garden at the University of Canterbury. The garden will be behind the Albany Street Read more...

GUNS AND EXPLOSIONS = NO DENTISTS

Posted 4:06am Monday 15th August 2011 by Basti Menkes

Otago dental students have created a 100% not-for-profit charity that seeks to improve the crumbling healthcare system in war-torn Iraq. The charity is called Iraqi Children's Aid and Repair Endeavour (ICARE), and is the first of its kind operating in New Zealand. There are an estimated 5 Read more...

Dr John McEwan

Posted 5:07am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

The population of sheep in New Zealand currently sits at around 43.1 million. They double the number of cows and yet have a better environmental reputation. What springs to mind when you hear natterings of a fart tax? Yes, Dairy farms. Sheep, on the other hand, are a bit overlooked by the general Read more...

VSM struggling through prolonged Labour

Posted 4:58am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Gregor Whyte

The Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill failed to pass the committee of the whole stage in Parliament last Wednesday, as Labour party MPs used delaying tactics to prevent the bill from reaching its third reading. Debate on the bill continued until Parliament ended its session at Read more...

Auckland University has enough airpoints to buy 747.

Posted 4:57am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Gregor Whyte

Otago just a Cessna. Students have slammed Auckland University after it was revealed the university spent $24 million on travel for academic and general staff in the last financial year. That figure dwarfs the spending of any other tertiary institution in New Zealand, with Massey University Read more...

Slutwalk hits town

Posted 4:56am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Not UniCol daytrip for once. The international protest movement Slutwalk is coming to Dunedin, with the event scheduled to take place next Saturday.   The original Slutwalk protests were sparked by the comments of a Canadian police officer at a safety talk in Toronto, who stated Read more...

SJS to close

Posted 4:54am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Teuila Fuatai

Student labourers sought to help with clearout. Apply online. Last week Student Job Search confirmed that its local on-campus branches will close in September. A new centralised system will provide services for the recruitment agency from a national call-centre in Wellington.   SJS Read more...

Proctology -19

Posted 4:52am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Critic hadn’t had a rendezvous with the Proctor since before the holidays, so we were expecting a good haul of stories when we strolled into his mighty chambers of justice. Disappointingly, Re-O Week seems to have been a relatively tame affair, with no stories of note from our favourite Read more...

Execrable - 19

Posted 4:50am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Secretary Donna Jones was notably absent from last week’s meeting, and her absence was not for the better. Stand-in AJ didn’t display Donna’s skill at wrangling the monkeys/exec members, and this was reflected in the tedious length of the meeting. First up, the never ending “what to do Read more...

If it’s not the altar boys or the sacramental wine, then its invariably AUT’s bank account

Posted 4:49am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Lozz Holding

A 53 year-old priest and former gay lover of ex-Labour MP Tim Barnett has been arrested for allegedly misappropriating over $500,000 from AUT University. Jonathan Kirkpatrick, a former Dean of Dunedin’s St Paul’s Cathedral, has resigned as chief executive of the University's Read more...

Amnesty not observed

Posted 4:46am Thursday 11th August 2011 by Staff Reporter

The University Link and the lawn area outside the library were the scenes of violent re-enactments by Amnesty International to raise awareness about the silencing of political activists last Wednesday August 3. Students dressed entirely in black marched through the Link, much to the surprise Read more...