Vote Chat: The Incredibly Dry Mr Parker

Leading into the November election, politics lecturer Bryce Edwards is hosting New Zealand politicians each Friday at Noon. Last Friday, Labour’s number four, David Parker, took on Politics postgrads, Ashley Murchison and Josh Hercus, in a PowerPoint battle royale over NZ’s debt, taking on Don Brash, and his extavagent turquoise watch.

Usually, I would remonstrate you for failing to come along on Fridays to hear one of New Zealand’s political minds wax lyrical on the state of New Zealand’s economy, the upcoming election, and how Labour is going to beat National. It’s election year after all, and there’s a lot at stake for students soon to enter into New Zealand’s depressed youth labour market. Last Friday, however, all you missed was a PowerPoint battle royale as David Parker went from interview to stump speech in under five minutes as he hijacked the interview to deliver a political polemic on the state of New Zealand’s debt crisis.

Parker is a policy wonk. He loves policy detail, PowerPoint presentations, graphs and pie charts. He is also a politician through and through. But last Friday he failed to connect with his audience and talk about the issues they were concerned with; he failed to treat it as an interview with students about student issues. Instead, he devoutly stuck to the Labour Party message of the week; economic policy.

Thank god Twitter provided the lols. The Otago Politics department was live streaming the debate via Twitter at the front of the lecture theatre, with people commenting and asking questions as the interview progressed. Otago’s own National Party fluffer and prolific blogger,James Meager posted to the Twitter feed throughout the debate (his lady friend Ashley was up front running the show). Meagre posted, in running reaction to Parker’s comments, gems such as “Brash is old, tricky, repugnant racisty (sic) liar. Just like Hone Harawira”. And “TIGHTEN THE NOOSE. KILL SHOT” when the topic of Labour’s post-election leadership came up.

So who is Parker, other than policy wonk and silently aspirant Labour Party leader? He’s a Dunedin boy, though he had the unusual honour of being born in Roxburgh. He studied Law and Accountancy at Otago before running with the big boys of law. After getting plain old sick and tired of charging people so much for his legal services (we all know how that can be mate), Parker went into business and managed to lose it all trying to redevelop the Rialto Theatre. Though he made his money back, the lesson was learned – you may not be rich forever – and he began to volunteer for, and later work with, the Labour Party. In 2002 he entered parliament, and by 2005 he was Minister of Energy and Climate Change. He designed the Emissions Trading Scheme, which is New Zealand’s attempt to reach its Kyoto Protocol obligations. His environmentalist “ethic” also saw him nominated by the NZ Listener for top environmentalist in 2008.

Parker has taken on some major political challenges. He has given up on his marginal chances of snaring the Waitaki electorate from National (he was beaten by 30% in the 2008 election) to commence battle against ACT’s new Epsom candidate, former Auckland Mayor John Banks (it helps that his lady friend lives in Auckland). Banksy came on board with the new ACT party leader Don Brash, a combination that Parker would desperately like to keep out of government. Rodney Hides’ victory in the Epsom electorate was all that kept ACT in parliament after the last election, and defeating Banks could keep ACT out of the next parliament altogether. Parker could barely hide his visceral disdain for Brash, describing him as a threat to “the thin veneer of civilisation”. It should be an interesting battle.

Parker certainly has political nous; the one time he misstepped, describing gay rights as a peripheral issue, he quickly backtracked and explained it away as peripheral to Labour’s current priorities. And it was Parker, people quietly whispered, that could have rolled Phil Goff during the Darren Hughes sex allegations affair. While he denies leadership ambitions just yet, he believes in his abilities as a Member of Parliament. “I’ve got life experience which is relevant to the things that I do”.

Parker finished off his day answering questions about his rather lovely turquoise watch. “I bought it at a costume/jewellery shop with my daughter. I like that colour, it is pure vanity.”

Posted 11:42pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Joe Stockman.