Archive

Isolation Fornication: 12 Socially Distanced Sex Tips

Posted 5:53pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Lotto Ramsay

It’s the third year of the pandemic and everyone’s still horny as hell. The safest option is masturbation, but if you’re sick of ringing the devil’s doorknob or strangling your meat flute and want some partner play then boy, you’re not alone. If the previous euphemisms Read more...

Predicting Oscar Winners with my Covid Iso

Posted 5:50pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Elliot Weir

As one of the many annoying film people working at Critic Te Arohi, I found myself obligated to pass judgement on who I think will win the upcoming Oscars. I couldn’t fit all 24 categories here, so I’ve cut out the acting awards, the short films, and a few others. I am also writing this Read more...

This World is on Fire:

Posted 5:48pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Sean Gourley

In a world that seems to be sliding further and further into the shit every day, Critic checked in with students to see what terrified them most about their future existence on this fuck-up of a planet. Most of the questioning was conducted on St Paddy’s to ensure that participants spoke from Read more...

Local Produce: Asia Martusia King and The Ugly Club

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

It’s every prospective students' dream: coming to the University of Otago, flatting on Castle Street, and dating a nice bird. Not a human girl, a bird. Like a literal bird. No? Not quite your speed? Well, if it is, you can do exactly that in ‘The Ugly Club’, a video game Read more...

Insert fear-mongering anti-dope slogan here

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Elliot Weir

Ever wanted to stage, (and then lose), a poorly-thought-out war on plants? Ever wanted to spend millions of taxpayer dollars on a publicity stunt that leads absolutely nowhere? Ever wanted to disenfranchise an entire swath of the population at the drop of a hat? Well, then this is the quiz for you. Read more...

Pass, Pass, Pass – Rare but severe reactions to weed

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Lotto Ramsay

CW: Psychosis Weed is the most widely used illicit drug in New Zealand, and for good reason. Cannabis has wide applications for mental and physical health, has no reported cases of fatal overdose, and in many ways is significantly less dangerous than alcohol. The long-running Dunedin Study Read more...

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger: Antibiotic Resistance in New Zealand

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Fox Meyer

Imagine an STI that you can’t treat. You go from doctor to doctor, from pill to pill, but nothing can clean out your undercarriage. The infection starts to spread. Like the one-night-stand you contracted it from, the infection refuses to leave after you make it clear that “we’re Read more...

Harder than it needed to be: Obtaining Viagra

Posted 2:30pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Ruby Werry

For those of you keen to give casual Viagra a go, be aware that – much like in daily life – if you don’t have a dick, things are gonna be hard. Allegedly, Viagra is available over the counter at pharmacies, but there's a catch. Just like most high-level positions in government, Read more...

Harder than He Needed to Be: Recreational Viagra

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Fox Meyer

Viagra can make your penis feel like it’s throbbing. It can put unnecessary strain on your blood pressure, and it can lead to erections that, just like the infomercials claim, can last for more than four hours. Ross, a student here, didn’t seem to give a shit about any of that. Ross Read more...

Local Produce: BEONY

Posted 1:23pm Sunday 13th March 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

BEONY’s latest track ‘GREY SWEATPANTS’, an ode to the final days of summer, dropped last weekend. Critic caught up with BEONY to talk about the twinkly track, summer flings and moments of inspiration in the bathroom. BEONY is the musical project of clinical dent tech student Read more...