Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

BOTY: The Bird of the Year Competition is back to ruffle some feathers

Posted 2:44pm Sunday 2nd October 2022

As Kiwis, we’ll vote in many elections over our lifetimes. Local, general, special, OUSA – the list goes on. But there is no democratic decision more important in Aotearoa than Te Manu Rongonui o Te Tau - The Bird of The Year. Voting for the 2022 election starts soon, so let’s have Read more...

Dunedin’s True Crime History

Posted 7:48pm Sunday 18th September 2022

CW: murder, suicide, executions, poison The skyrocketing price of alcohol and the fact that McDonald’s doesn’t do hash browns past 11am both feel like terrible crimes, but these are only a smidgen of Dunedin’s illustrious true crime history. True crime fascination is not a new Read more...

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch:

Posted 7:26pm Friday 2nd September 2022

Picture this: it's the start of the semester, and you are once again reluctantly sitting in a packed lecture theatre for a paper you’re definitely not going to pay attention to. Your lecturer then begins the class by asking for a class rep. After a long awkward silence and a few glances Read more...

What Shitty Student Car Do You Drive?

Posted 4:54pm Friday 19th August 2022

There’s nothing that screams ‘student’ quite like the deafening, failing exhaust of a shitty car you love with all your heart, held together by nothing but duct tape and a dream. A key part of your personality, this quiz will determine what noble steed gets you from Burns A to B. Read more...

Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh Why?

Posted 3:39pm Friday 19th August 2022

In an alternate reality, flocks of emu can be seen on the Otago Peninsula. Breathas are regularly in the ER after getting into fist fights with kangaroos on a night out. The Otago University Tramping Club has to brief their members on the dangers of bear and wolf attacks before any trip. While Read more...

Tips from The Tattoo Tour

Posted 1:54pm Sunday 31st July 2022

University is all about reinventing yourself, discovering who you really are, and the earth-shattering realisation that you ain’t shit compared to everyone else. Luckily, this particular existential dread has a remedy! Start altering your appearance, whether that’s dying your hair, Read more...

StudyLink Wait Times up 37%

Posted 6:01pm Monday 25th July 2022

If you feel like StudyLink wait times are longer than usual this year, you’re on the money. StudyLink claims that average wait times sit at around 20 minutes (up 5 minutes from last year) – but students have been reporting far longer ordeals. Phone calls are already a bit of a mission Read more...

Blame Putin for RTD Shortage

Posted 5:56pm Monday 25th July 2022

If you’ve noticed getting your hands on Diesels or Billy Mavs has been harder recently, you’re not alone, and you’re not wrong. International shortages of bourbon have been causing prices to spike. While the spirit is adored by middle-aged men and those who are middle-aged men at Read more...

Foul Player? More like FOWL PLAYA!

Posted 2:19am Saturday 9th July 2022

For those unaware, the last time Critic had a chat with Ōtepoti’s famous gay ducks it ended with a show of epic proportions and an unexpected pregnancy. So, another tabloid issue and another year later, Critic launched a check-in with our favourite dysfunctional queer Read more...