Archive

Booze Review: A Diesel Yardie

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Diesel is a foul, horrific, gross, horrendous, revolting, evil, nasty, blasphemous, putrid offense to the senses and all sense of moral righteousness. Whoever invented it has done more damage to New Zealand than the Christchurch Earthquake and Max Key’s musical career combined. It’s no Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 3

Posted 2:37pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Wee Doubt

A placebo is anything that seems to be a “real” medical treatment, but isn’t. It could be a pill, a shot, a spell, a potion; anything a person is told will make them feel better. What all placebos have in common is that they do not contain an active substance that demonstrably Read more...

Whānau Fit

Posted 2:31pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Terina Raureti

Kia Ora whānau! Ko Terina Raureti tōku ingoa, ko Ngāti Raukawa tōku iwi, nō Otaki ahau. I started my postgrad journey last year when I discovered my passion in Māori Physical Education and Health and working within our Māori communities. To be honest, when I Read more...

Why a hospital rebuild matters to students

Posted 12:12pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by David Clark

Even though today it is agreed across the political spectrum that our hospital desperately needs updating, the timeframe for a rebuild keeps getting dragged out, and some argue that the new buildings may deliver fewer services than they currently do. My position is simple: Dunedin requires a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 3

Posted 11:52am Sunday 12th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT has finally done it. They’ve run out of content completely. Over the next couple of weeks they plan to see how many different kinds of feathers they can lodge in different locations.   We seem to have an infestation of Australian Read more...

Editorial | Issue 3

Posted 11:19am Sunday 12th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Last week an advert appeared in The Star newspaper promoting Don Brash’s new political movement “Hobson’s Pledge”. In it, the group calls for politicians to stop giving “extra rights for those who arrived here first,” “favourable treatment based on Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 2

Posted 6:18pm Wednesday 8th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Short I came with low hopes and I thought wow he's actually alg looking, but then at the end of the day we were better suited as friends. His flat were sitting there, which I found weird, but each to their own. Good conversation, but no further I don't think! Ah well. Sweet On the Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 2

Posted 2:18pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Fanny Clive-Trevor

Sarah had spent years trying to remove the hair on her legs, but the hairs fought back. If she shaved, she’d only graze herself and wreck the blades. If she waxed, the hair would rip out in agonising patches, then her skin would become puckered and pimpled. Lasers glanced off them; depilatory Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 2

Posted 2:12pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Deadly snakes are generally distinguishable by the thinness of the neck, immediately behind the head, and by their having only two teeth in the upper jaw. Kerosene oil is a never failing remedy for the cure of the bite of snakes and all other poisonous reptiles. Bind cloth wet with kerosene on Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 2

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Student Support

Help me, I have a mad boner for my lecturer. Should I make a move on that? Is this legal? Help. Frustrated Disclaimer: Student Support advises you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions to: ethelandhyde@ousa.org.nz   Ethel says: Oh dear, that sounds Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 2

Posted 1:56pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

There’s no such thing as a free lunch. However, the internet is an all you can eat buffet of free lunches, provided you can put up with the ads. Enter adblock stage left. Adblock creates the ultimate user experience; everything is free and all the intrusive pop-ups are gone. But eventually, Read more...

Flamé Is the Perfect Drink, the Beer We Were Put on This Earth to Create

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Flame (pronounced Flamé) is an imported French beer, brewed by Trappist monks at a hidden monastery near the peak of the Pyrenees alps, since the early 1300s. Legend has it that the true recipe has never been written down, instead it is passed by oral tradition from master to apprentice. Read more...

Post-Grad & Broke

Posted 1:44pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Philosophy of Zane

Hey Otago Ew-ni, We have a bone to pick with you. We need to talk about how “full” scholarships do not, in fact, cover the costs required to be a student.  What is the purpose of a scholarship? To us, it is meant to allow someone to complete their studies, while not allowing Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 2

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Ben Cravens

Recent data, gathered by NASA’s Kepler spacecraft, indicates that up to 40 billion habitable planets may exist in our galaxy. Given this abundance of fertile planets, scientific estimates, like the Drake Equation, predict intelligent life should have developed and spread throughout our Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 2

Posted 11:09am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week, the ODT proved yet again that they will brave nonsensical surrealism in order to make a pop culture reference.   Nothing makes us at ODT Watch more aroused than a nice bit of old fashioned ODT ineptitude. Not only is Dan Hendra not the OUSA president, he is also not Read more...

David Clark | Issue 2

Posted 10:57am Sunday 5th March 2017 by David Clark

There’s a real buzz in Dunedin during Orientation Week. Cafés and bars come alive, the streets fill with people exploring their new home and empty University colleges and flats transform into hubs of activity.  I hope you have created plenty of good memories this O-Week, and Read more...

Editorial | Issue 2

Posted 10:13am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Joe Higham

On Wednesday last week, a small group of protesters gathered to oppose the presence of global finance company Goldman Sachs on campus because of their investment in the Dakota Access Pipeline (see page seven for more information). The group was no larger than fifteen at any given time, and at Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 1

Posted 2:33pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 1

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr

There is not a more ideal place for a killer to roam than Castle Street, so they told us. I believe it. Ever since that evening the Marsh was evacuated one evening because of a ‘suspicious figure’ wandering the Botans. We thought they meant a gunman.  Of course, the flat doors Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 1

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Young men and women embarking on their education must study, but excessive bookishness will lead to a fever of the brain that will incapacitate the nerves and leave the young person unable to participate in society. Watch for symptoms of brain-fever in your companions in your homestays and in Read more...