Archive

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Alice Taylor

Chocolate Self Saucing Pudding This is my most baked pudding of 2021. On several occasions when I have been at a loss for what to cook for dinner, I have made and eaten half of this pudding and called it a day. When you make this recipe, it will feel wrong, as pouring boiling water on top of cake Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 4:16pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Sasha Freeman

Rate Nanaia Mahuta (Foreign Affairs Minister) having a moko kauae — yes queen I’m so glad she reps NZ. Justifying your post lockdown slutty behaviour by reminding yourself what Chris Hipkins said. That fact that I dropped out before lockdown started, I do not need another year Read more...

Nissan Leaf Blissfully Unaware That It Will Be A Breatha’s Car in 20 Years

Posted 4:14pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by The Critical Tribune

A Japanese Nissan Leaf is sitting in a Yokohama showroom, apparently happily unaware of the abuse it will face at the hands of an Otago student in 20 years time. The electric car, decked out in Magnetic Red, was born at Nissan’s Oppama Factory last month; far too young to even comprehend Read more...

Return to Level 2 Celebrated By Exploited Hospo Workers

Posted 4:13pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by The Critical Tribune

A return to Alert Level 2 is being welcomed by Dunedin’s exploited hospitality workers, who say they are looking forward to being overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated yet again.  Local bartender Timothy told the Critical Tribune: “It was real weird sitting at home. Like, I Read more...

Booze Reviews | Grolsch Premium Pilsner

Posted 4:11pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by 6Pac

Grolsch is the beer that nobody asked for and nobody drinks. Just the name fills you with disgust and a little bit of fear. Despite the tastefully ribbed green bottle for his and her pleasure, the tiny printed label around its neck makes Grolsch almost invisible to the naked eye when literally any Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 4:08pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Despite the news of level 2, chances are you’re not going to break those lockdown habits. Keep ignoring those lectures and day drinking. YOLO swag. Self care tip: indulge in some bougie RTDs   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 The next few weeks are Read more...

GUEST EDITORIAL | Nau mai ngā hua o Mahuru Māori

Posted 12:50am Saturday 11th September 2021 by Karamea Pēwhairangi

Mauri ora ki a tātau katoa.  Nau mai haere mai ki tēnei perehitanga mo Te Arohi! Kaore he kore e mōhiotia whānuitia koutou ko te kaupapa mo tēnei wiki, ko te reo Māori. Ko ōna pikinga, me ōna hekenga i roto i ngā tau kua hōri. Hei kupu Read more...

Crossword (Issue 21)

Posted 12:44pm Monday 6th September 2021 by Ciara White

Scroll down for the crossword from our current issue.    Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Part 2: A Big Night

Posted 3:59pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Critic

This experience came right on the back of a great one nighter, a wonderful night with such a hulk of man. Totally destroyed my ass and I loved it. We arranged to meet at his (we'll call him Dave), and planned out a little study meeting with some fun and maybe even a friend after. The sheer Read more...

Lecturer Busily Planning Extra Work For Locked-Down Students

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by The Critical Tribune

While most people are stuck at home with their schedules interrupted, one Uni lecturer is not letting lockdown stop his plans for the year. If anything, he’s planning to make it busier than ever before, with a flood of new assignments, projects and unit tests. Physiology lecturer Dr Mas Read more...