Booze Review | Jack Daniels

Booze Review | Jack Daniels

Although most American products are marketing-heavy and quality-poor, sometimes they get things right. Jack Daniel’s is one such thing and it blows all of its poncy European rivals out of the water. JD is delicious, cheap, and, above all, it is far less pretentious than most other whiskeys. 

First of all, JD tastes better than almost all whiskeys at a similar price point. Although Jack Daniels is not labelled as a bourbon but rather a Tennessee whiskey (whatever that means) it is made with lots of corn. In fact, JD contains so much corn that it is often referred to as “the Dorito of spirits.” But, despite this name, JD doesn’t actually taste like liquified Doritos, rather like a sweet and smoky Louisiana breeze, which essentially means it both stings and soothes - just like hearing a disturbingly racist comment spoken in a charming southern accent. It’s like vodka mixed with just enough corn syrup to prevent it from burning your insides, or at least it burns your insides a little bit less. 

The only big draw-back of the flavour is that if you have ever had a negative experience with bourbon and cola, and most people have, then the memories of that experience will come flooding back rapidly. But by the second glass, I promise you that those memories will fade. What I discovered at this point is that JD is that rare find: a spirit that can be drunk straight with minimal pain.

A 1 litre bottle of JD goes for $50. This is not exactly cheap at 1.67 dollars per standard. However that is about the same price as most RTDs, and most other whiskeys (except for fucking Bells) are at the same or above that dollar per standard ratio. So you could do a lot worse for price, especially when one bottle could probably accommodate 3 moderate or 2 heavier drinking sessions. As beer, RTD and wine prices continue to rise, spirits like JD are definitely back on the menu.

The reason a drink as delicious as JD is not considered as classy is simply because it is out-snobbed by its European rivals with names like Brookfaihdcarniebrun and Ladavaughtunbru. While other whiskeys always have difficult names and an obscure background, the simplicity of Jack Daniels’ marketing may appear to indicate it is of poorer quality. This is not so. The simplicity of the marketing reflects the quality of the drink.

It seems that in the US Jack Daniel’s is a drink associated with biker gangs and trailer trash (which roughly translates to bogans in NZ). But in NZ there need only be three considerations for whether you should drink an alcoholic beverage: What does it taste like? What will it cost me? And, can I handle the volume? JD tastes fantastic, is not overly expensive and is almost as low volume as you can get. Jack Daniel’s does not insult its enjoyers with self-important tales about Scottish streams or Irish history; Jack Daniel’s is good enough that the drink speaks for itself.

Tasting notes: Honey, the sweet sweet waters of the Mississippi, corn.
Pairs well with: Bikers, babes, beer.
Froth level: Throwing a pillow on a couch fire.
Taste rating: 8/10 silky smooth.

This article first appeared in Issue 15, 2022.
Posted 5:22pm Sunday 17th July 2022 by Chug Norris.