Mr. Worldwide

Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Fraser. We were close to last week’s correct location, but not quite there. Paul’s photo was snapped from a building window higher up and further back than we thought, because he cropped the photo to make it harder. Curses!

First thoughts: Hahahaha, awesome. Lobster. Rock lobster, even. Looks like it’s the species native to this part of the world, which narrows it down, and I don’t think I’ve seen this statue anywhere in Aotearoa, so I’m guessing this is somewhere in Aus.

One thing that’s jumped out to me is the abundance of “lobster” names in Western Aus. So I’m going to search there, currently in Cervantes, en route to Geraldton… oh, you’ve gotta be kidding. I was so excited when I saw “big lobster” listed on the map, but it’s an entirely different (and less cool) sculpture in Dongara. Fuck. It’s also not on the beach, which makes me want to cry because I’ve only been looking at beaches. I’ve also found a sculpture in Mandurah, but nope. Not that one. 

Okay, so the easy thing to do would be to just google “big metal lobster” and Google would probably give us the answer. But that would be too easy, and we prefer to suffer a bit for this column. The vegetation doesn’t look Kiwi, but I’m no expert, so I’ve actually sent this submission to a botany professor to see if he can ID the trees and confirm that this is indeed in Aus. After review, our on-tap botanist said that “the tree in the background looks like a Eucalypt, with that open crown structure it looks like it is at home in a woodland setting rather than a forest”, and recommended searching in western Victoria or south of Perth. So that’s where we’ll head. I’ve also checked the distribution of rock lobster in Aus, which gave me this helpful map. I’ll limit my search to here.

Honestly, it’s a total guess, but I’m assuming that this is a coastal sculpture, facing east, in a reasonably large town. If it’s not that then I’m screwed. I would expect to see more rust on the sculpture if it was so close to the ocean, which has me nervous. I’m thinking: who would build this? Either the town must have a big history with rock lobsters, or there’s a marine centre nearby, or something. I’ve been scrolling through beach towns in western Vic for a while now on Google Earth, trying to spot the big red monstrosity from the air. Nothing yet. And nothing for the next 45 minutes. Somewhere out there, small-town Aussies are laughing at me, but I’m laughing back at them because they’re small-town Aussies.

I decided at this point that I would allow myself to Google “lobster sculptures”. I thought this would be cheating, but as it turns out, there’s heaps. I did see the one I was after, which said it was in Kingston. In a bit of karmic action, I assumed this was Kingston, Canberra, and spent about half an hour trolling the streets there to no avail, before realising that it was Kingston SE, south of Adelaide, which is exactly where I first started looking, and somehow missed the giant red lobster in the middle of town because I have an attention-to-detail problem. Ouch. All that small-town Aussie laughter is feeling a bit vindicated, now. 

Final answer: Larry the Lobster, Kingston SE, but I don’t feel good about this one. I got the answer, but I’ve lost my integrity. “It’s a giant lobster - how hard could it be?” Yikes. Took the better part of two hours, but would’ve taken just 20 minutes if I’d been more careful. Take that as a lesson.

This article first appeared in Issue 15, 2022.
Posted 5:25pm Sunday 17th July 2022 by Mr. Worldwide.