Archive

The More Things Change | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week scientific progress abounds, and a cultural icon is born. 6 March, 1869: Dmitri Mendeleev presented the first periodic table to the Russian Chemical Society, which was particularly impressive because he’d left spaces for elements that apparently didn’t exist. The relevant Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi Everybody! So last week we talked about GPs and the importance of finding a good one. If you haven’t gone out and done that yet, consider this column plussage, because we’re gonna follow on from there today. Underpinning what makes a docotor “good” is their relationship with you. As Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Glitter Grrl

A lot of why I wanted to do this column had to do with illuminating words and phrases that can be problematic; words like “fag” and “bitch,” that kind of thing. Over the past couple of weeks, though, I’ve noticed that it’s sometimes the less outrageously vulgar insults that can pack more of a sting. Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by M and G

You may know Green Acorn as the café you stare at mindlessly whilst studying on the south side of Central Library, nestled alongside Sushi Station and Poppa’s Pizza. G hadn’t heard great things about the place so went in with extremely low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised. The elderly Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

The windswept esplanade of St. Clair is the beach-du-jour default for Dunedin residents and new Scarfies alike. Activities abound: marvel at the giant swathes of seaweed lazing about in piles on the sand, observe while the hardy Southern surfers navigate the waves in their foot-thick Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Critic hasn’t renewed its subscription to the ODT yet, partly because we don’t want to contribute 95 cents per day to extensive coverage of the Strath Taieri Collie Club’s centennial trials in Middlemarch and obsessive campaigns against K2. So we stole a copy of Wednesday’s ODT from Radio One and Read more...

Love Online | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

Editorial | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Cricket makes life worth living. There’s a test match between NZ and England at the University Oval next to Logan Park, running from Wednesday to Sunday. Every Otago student should go. That’s why I’m not writing this editorial about politics, ticking “no religion” in the census, or Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 01

Posted 2:52pm Monday 25th February 2013 by Sam McChesney

Welcome back to “ODT Watch,” in which we track the more notable stories peddled by the illustrious Independent Voice of the South. The Otago Daily Times is home to some of the country’s most provincial, prudish, and puntastically-titled news items. This year got off to a great start: despite only Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 01

Posted 2:52pm Monday 25th February 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

Unbeknownst to most Scarfies of the fresher variety, there exists a magical, unexplored and exotic land outside the heady confines of the North Dunedin student ghetto. You may not believe me, but south of the Octagon, north of Knox, and uphill beyond the Bog, a world of possibilities awaits Read more...

The Leek | Issue 01

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

As hangovers wore on and STI rates soared, a slightly sinister twist emerged during an otherwise sensational O-Week. Acclaimed rapper Macklemore, age 29, met with an unfortunate fate following his sold-out concert at Dunedin’s Forsyth Barr Stadium on Thursday night. Macklemore rapped the Read more...

Kant Stop Husserling | Issue 01

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Erma Dag

In the classic 1985 film Back to the Future, Marty McFly travels back to 1955 and accidentally interferes with the mishap that brought his parents together. With his mother suddenly lusting after his Calvin Klein-clad hiney instead, Marty spends the remainder of the film trying to bring his parents Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 01

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Jessica Bromell

Kia ora and welcome to “The More Things Change,” a sojourn into the coming week’s news per the annals of history. Formative moments of today’s affairs and milestones of the human race will abound, as well as a few things from which people have hopefully learned by now. If nothing else you might pick Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 01

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! For many of you, this is your first year of University. Welcome – you’ll love it here! For some of you, this is your last year of University. Welcome back! Savour these moments – what a blast the past three or four years have been! For a few of you, like me, this is your sixth Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 01

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Glitter Grrl

Hey there, new and returning Scarfies! I welcome you to my patch of rainbows and equality! I’m here to give counsel on everything LGBTQ and feminism. Many of you will have just left home or moved in with a flat of strangers; or maybe you’re just starting the year afresh, rising like Madonna, reborn Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by M and G

Just inside the Oamaru stone tomb that is St David’s Lecture Theatre is where we spent the majority of our time as freshers, the ideal procrastination centre. You can sit in the cheap silver outdoor chairs with a weak coffee and people watch, use the uni internet or browse St David’s Café’s Read more...

Love Online | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Elsie Jacobson

Congratulations, you’ve survived O-Week! But this is Dunedin, and the year has only just begun. So for your liver’s sake, I’m going to tell you the most important thing you should know about hangovers. They are not friends with Panadol, and the two should never, ever hang out. When you Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Elsie Stone

Welcome to another year in our own little rat-infested corner of Paradise, where carpets are stained orange from the spilled Cindy’s of years past and itʼs best to just walk on by if you see a strange woman taking a poo on someone elseʼs car. As our sticky pavements begin to fill with Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous Blind Date column is back for another year of shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to a bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like Read more...

Editorial | Issue 01

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Callum Fredric

At my work Christmas Party, I found out that the previous summer a guy had been fired for ordering a $200 Wagyu steak on the company tab. Wagyu cattle enjoy a standard of living far superior to that of the average Otago student. Massaged daily, plied with beer and sake, and fed only the very Read more...

Tumuaki o Te Roopū Māori 2012!

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Time has passed by so fast and that the year is ending. What a journey it has been. The role of Tumuaki has had its ups and downs, and this year it has been a challenge to balance my study, work, and TRM duties. People can warn you about the workload and the level of commitment, but reality does not Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Callum Fredric

This week in ODT Watch, the ODT continues its totes-impartial-journalism campaign against the new brand of synthetic cannabis, K2. The ODT’s neutral interviewer resisted the urge to ask leading, emotive questions to get the answers he wanted: Meanwhile, a sentient fox has apologised Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Holly Walker

I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get his column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get my column in on time. I must get his column in on time. I Read more...

Poetry | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Maya Turei

send me your kisses, and send me your love - i’ll post mine back to you no matter what. manila envelopes circulate the floor, telling all the secretaries how office politics can not eclipse our love, - how post it notes stuck to the fridge mean nothing to Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

At this point in the year, dinner-time conversation has been replaced by the sound of highlighters moving across course materials. It’s exam season, and the air is pregnant with chaste frustration. Or so I thought. On our final Friday writing up this column, I would have never guessed that we had Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Ethan Rodgers

I’ve never voted in the OUSA elections before, I didn’t vote in the last one, and I am not alone. “Why?” you ask. “What about democracy and students’ rights and StudyLink and our ability to freely write chalk messages on the asphalt?” I don’t know what the answer is. Perhaps it’s because I like to Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Toby Newberry

At its peak in the 13th century, the Mongol Empire covered 16% of the Earth’s total land area. That’s more than twice the size of the USA, or around 90 times the size of New Zealand. It is the largest empire in human history. Subutai was a Mongolian general, serving first under Genghis Khan and then Read more...

For The Record | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

For the record, I feel a strong sense of pressure with this particular column, my final one of the year. I want to find just the right words to end with. I want this conclusion to be satisfying. It’s hard to believe the year is almost at its close, and that we’ll soon be free from the confines of Read more...

Straight up | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by La Dida

I’m sure many of us have noticed that queer columns often plumb archives of feeling which include anger, sadness or pride, or some combo of these. Which is fair enough, I think, since queer/trans people have lots to be angry, sad, and proud about. However, for this column I thought I’d Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Brittany Mann

For many, if not most (going by the sheer number of bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked freshers in the first flush of academic fervour), med school is something of a holy grail. But in reality, to milk the biblical metaphor, this cup can be very difficult to bear, to the point of sacrificing one’s own life. Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

I have only once watched a US daytime talkshow. In my defence, I was severely incapacitated at the time. Rachael Ray, or whatever the fuck it was, proved a suitably bizarre experience: for instance, the audience would cheer madly whenever the host said the word “bacon”. Funnily enough, the dulcet Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Lovebirds

Well shit kids, it’s been a good ride, but this is the last Critic Blind Date of the year. We’ve got some people laid, had some very popular lesbian shenanigans, and created some of North Ds most awakward moments of 2012. To end things with a bang we had six guys and six girls speed date, and if Read more...

Editorial | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Joe Stockman

Fuck ay. This is it, the last Critic of the year. This place has a strange effect on you. It’s high-stress, amazingly fun, and always, even to the end, completely seat of your pants. You turn up having no idea how to do the job, you leave having no idea how you did it. I think, I hope, Read more...

Year’s End

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

In many ways, your time in Dunedin is a gift. I am especially aware of this when former students make contact and share that as they look back on their years in Dunedin, they feel very grateful. A core part of this Otago experience is the friendships we have here. Every now and then, we need to look Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Holly Walker

Regular readers will know that I am always looking for excuses to visit Dunedin, so I was delighted when my former POLS lecturer and academic idol Janine Hayward invited me to speak to her POLS102 class about life, politics, and everything else last week. I took that brief pretty literally Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

Holy shit. We’re getting pretty close to the end of Critic for the year, only one more to go. And I really didn’t think that we would get some of the ODT’s greatest work this close to the end. But they literally stopped me in my tracks this week, and in the business section, no less! (yes, I take Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

It’s hard to draw boundaries between art and pornography when representing sex. Erotica seems to go back forever - the earliest known man-made sculpture is the 26,000-year-old “Venus of Willendorf”, widely interpreted as a fertility symbol with its large breasts and accentuated vulva. In our Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Toby Newberry

Last week we chronicled the rise of Heshen, a Chinese official who became absurdly wealthy in the late 18th century. This week, we bear witness to his fall. Last week ended at Step Two of “Heshen’s guide to amassing inappropriately large stashes of treasure”, and we’ll pick up at Step Three after a Read more...

For The Record | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

The xx are three British twentysomethings who dress in black and create stripped-down minimalist pop with haunting melodic precision and a zealously apathetic atmosphere. Read that last sentence again. Now go and beat your head against a fucking wall to get that PR-spun marketing dross out of your Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by La Dida

In this one short sentence, I will possibly extinguish what’s left of my queer cool cred: I’m a country fag, and I like it. I am not hard country. I’m more the soft, lifestyle block, grow-heirloom-roses kind. I like the smell of silage, flower shows, and shingle roads. I like to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Brittany Mann

When I was getting travel vaccinations recently, the nurse administering them said she had not heard of the recent Ebola virus disease outbreaks in Uganda and Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). I made no real effort to veil my scorn (hello, she is a nurse at a travel medicine clinic…) and wasted no Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Last week, Mitt Romney pulled out of the presidential race, to be replaced by a fresh-faced Tea Party ticket of Paul Ryan and a Dalek. The latest scandal to hit the Romney campaign proved too damaging: Mitt was caught on camera dismissing the 47% of Americans who pay no federal income tax as Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been putting on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Joe Stockman

And so just like that, the Logan Edgar era comes to an end. Francisco Hernandez – a career student pol if ever there was one – has come down the middle of a Scarfie vote split by Ryan Edgar and Zac Gawn to claim the OUSA student presidency for 2013. You have to wonder how Gawn and Ryan feel Read more...

Te Roopu Māori Elections

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

José Maria de Eça de Queiroz said that “Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.” Thank you to all those who turned up to the SGM, and for providing some constructive feedback to the proposed changes within the management system of Te Rito. Hopefully you Read more...

The Room (2003)

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Sam McChesney

It was a question of defining importance. For decades, the debate raged. What was the worst film of all time? The contenders came from far and wide – Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Troll 2, Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth. With Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Staff Reporter

In honour of the 24hr issue, we took all of this week’s ODT Watch out of Wednesday’s issue. You might worry that one day’s worth of ODT isn’t enough to make an entire ODT Watch. Oh, how wrong you would be … You’ve all heard the saying “What happens in Milton, stays in Milton”, right? No? Read more...

Poetry | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Staff Reporter

Her name was Elizabeth She wore glasses and cashmere We held hands by fireside and teased about childish things It was raining, and quick. Her name was Ashlee She sat next to me in white dresses We walked without speaking around mountaintop monasteries in flaming summer Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Holly Walker

As I write this, it is 119 years to the day since New Zealand became the first country in the world to recognise women’s right to vote. Thanks Kate Sheppard. Heart you. New Zealanders are rightly proud that we were the first to do this. Smug, even. And fair enough; it’s awesome. It is Read more...