Archive

Local Produce: The Beatniks

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Beatniks are named after the track ‘Beatnik’ by OG Dunedin Sound band The Clean, which itself makes reference to the Beat Generation subculture of the 60s. Although what The Beatniks do is different to what happened in the 60s, they’re part of a subculture of their own: the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Not begging for moa

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Music has the ability to bring people together. So do taxidermied moa. And blowjobs. As it turns out, all of the above can also tear people apart and sow weeks of exasperated sighs into your everyday life. Let me explain: It was midnight on a Friday. I was single and “ethically” Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:13pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to sack up and take a stand on what matters. You can’t be a passive people-pleaser for the rest of your life, it’s important to have an opinion in the pursuit of what is right. Activity of the week: Give a shit Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Dinner and a Show

Posted 2:00pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

I was travelling recently and, as luck would have it, I was upgraded to the top floor of the Quest apartments by the Old Bank in downtown Wellington. It’s a fancy art deco complex above Starbucks. Class, plenty of room to hang out between adventures in the big city, and bonus: I could spy on Read more...

Takeaways

Posted 1:59pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

Something to: Watch The Wife Swap George Bush episode: The Patrick and Leierwood Family episode is what your flat is missing. One family is an uber-conservative, hella-patriotic American military family who LOVES George W Bush. Meanwhile, the other family consists of Godless hippies who Read more...

Chargrills: Teriyaki Build-a-Bowl

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This is a super easy, low maintenance option for a quick and healthy dinner while only having to cook the rice and protein. More colour = more nutrients. Get amongst it.   Ingredients 800g chicken breast or tofu, cut into bite size chunks Oil Teriyaki sauce sachet/bottle 3-4 Read more...

Editorial: Conespiracy

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Cone theft from George Street is costing the DCC $40k a year, and students are copping the blame. Can’t be surprised, though: Dunedin students love cones of many varieties. We broke this story last week, which was picked up by Stuff, Spinoff, Seven Sharp and the Breakfast Show. Not that any Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

Booze Review: Riot Punch

Posted 3:29pm Monday 1st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Riot Punch is the perfect drink to serve during half-time at a 3rd XV highschool rugby game. Riot Punch is an evil alchemy, being both incredibly easy to execute and terrifyingly effective. Through many years of painstaking research, a perfect recipe was developed: cheap vodka paired with blue Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 9

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to wake up. Someone in your close circle may be up to no good, so it’s time to reevaluate who is in your nearest and dearest posse. Bar to visit: Woof!  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 And first of all, I wanna Read more...

Just Like the Movies

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

I made this high on brownies. True story tho, enjoy: It was the third date and we had just finished up at the movies. He suggested that we go somewhere. I gave a shy “okay” smiley nod and then followed him out onto the street. We walked for a while trying to find the perfect private Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Red Curry

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

I've just been to Thailand. It'd be rude not to do a Thai beef red curry. You will love this.  Thai Red Curry Ingredients Oil 700-800g beef rump steak, cut into small cubes Salt & pepper 1 brown onion, diced 1 tsp crushed garlic 1 tsp ginger (if you have Read more...

Editorial: Bats

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Really didn't know what to write about this week, so here’s how I caused a minor rabies scare in rural Ohio. I started out attending uni at a shit school in the shittest state in the entirety of America: Ohio. I only went because they gave me money and I will never forgive them for it. Read more...

Why are you poor?

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Only losers are poor, and if you’re poor, it’s your fault. There are so many reasons why it’s your fault, so we’ve designed this quiz to help you really figure out the answer so you can get back on that #grind. What are you spending the most money on that you could do Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Can’t Beetle this Juice

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

I know there have been some less-positive confessions lately, so here’s something slightly more wholesome. Slightly. It’s around 2am and most of our flat’s in bed, save for two (let’s call them Nikki and Molly, not using real names). The door of the flat opens, and Nikki Read more...

Local Produce: Saurian

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Saurian make music that matches their name: hard rock. Critic Te Ārohi managed to catch up with the band in the midst of their current tour. Saurian is Karl (guitar/vocals), Cameron (guitar), Logan (bass), and Hamish (drums). Saurian have been a band since 2015, starting with Karl and Hamish Read more...

Chargrills: potato bake

Posted 2:56pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This shit is simple and dope. Feeds 8, so there definitely will be leftovers. Pair with a bit of cheap rump steak and steamed broccoli or whatever else you feel like running. 1kg potatoes, peeled 150g cheese, grated 1.5 cups of cream and/or milk 2 cloves fresh garlic, Read more...

Editorial: why capitalism is actually great for the environment

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thanks to Margret Thatcher (#girlboss) and a few other legends, we all get to live in the wonderful world of industrial capitalism. They also call it neoliberalism, which is like Neopets but for money. It’s very slay and cute. We get to use this thing called “the market” that Read more...

Booze Review: Soju

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Soju sounds like a slur Walt Disney would use. It’s not, though. It’s booze. It seems that these days I have exhausted my excitement for alcohol. Bored of beer, sick of RTD’s, and left with broken spirit(s). The novelty is gone and I wonder what is the point of destroying my Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to celebrate yourself, Aquarians! Give yourself a sweet treat and a pat on the back for all your efforts. You deserve it. Political ideology to subscribe to: Anarchism.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, it goes without saying you have Read more...